Safe In My Arms
by beautifulpurplesky
Summary: Katniss and Peeta comfort each other on the Victory Tour, in need of intimacy. They are in utter shock when they hear about the third Quarter Qell. When they're in the arena Katniss realizes something that will change both of their lives for ever.
1. Gale

I pulled my old leather boots on my feet and grabbed the already packed back pack. The old wooden door creaked as usual but I tried my best to close it as quietly as I could. I couldn't risk waking Prim or my mom, not today with this big day ahead of us.

I quickened my pace as soon as the fence keeping the people living in District 12 inside, was in my sight. My eyes immediately found the all too familiar weak spot but before I did anything at all, I stood completely still and listened after the low buzzing from the fence.

Once I was absolutely sure there wasn't any power running through it that could give me a deadly shock, I crawled under it and walked into the green forest. Into the area that was meant to be forbidden to people like me. The green lush woods were strictly forbidden and could give you death as punishment, but did that stop me? No.

After walking maybe ten minutes in between the trees, I found the hollow one keeping my bow hidden. Shortly after I found the quiver containing my arrows in another tree and I continued trudging through the forest. I found it handy that all the different shaped leaves on the ground made my footsteps almost inaudible. It gave me a great opportunity to sneak up on my prey before I sent a deadly arrow into its body.

Usually with small animals, as squirrels, I shot them in the eye to keep the body pretty much intact. The more meat, the more we got out of the swap in The Shed. Of course the size of the animal has a lot to say but what helps it if you're supposed to bring a deer but only have its hip? That wouldn't give you much in The Shed. But I didn't really need anything now. Suddenly there was a movement in the very corner of my eye. Instantly I held my bow in position with an arrow, ready to kill every danger coming too close for my personal space.

To my relief it was a deer eating the leaves of a tree nearby. I lifted my arms and closed my left eye, ready to shoot. But just as I was about to let my fingers let go of the arrow, there was a sound coming from behind me. _A stick being stepped on_. The deer's head snapped up to see who or what had invaded its privacy then it made a run for it. I followed it with my bow but with all the trees and bushes it was pretty much impossible. Even for me. With a sigh, I lowered the bow and loosened my grip. That's when I decided to see what or who had scared away my prey.

"Whoa, careful now. I don't want you to bring _me_ back as food, Catnip." _Gale_. A low sound of annoyance and anger built up in my throat. Once Gale reached me, I slammed my palm into his well shaped chest. He just looked down at me with a smile playing on his lips.

"It's not funny! That was for Sae, you idiot." I hissed although I knew all too well that I couldn't stay mad at him. Gale just shrugged his shoulders and laughed at my frustrated face expression. My eyes followed his every move as he bent down and his rough fingers wrapped around a stone lying on the ground. He drove his arm back over his head and let it shoot forward, letting go of the luggage.

It only took my brain about a split second to register what was happening and I was ready with my weapon again. The sound of the stone hitting one of the bigger stones into the woods made the birds leave their no longer safe places in the trees, which made them a perfect target to me. I shot down two easily and let it be. Maybe Gale's snares had caught something. I went out hunting every Sunday with Gale to make sure innocent Prim didn't have to sign up for grain rations although we had pretty much more food than we would ever need.

Because since Peeta and I managed to stay alive during the 74th annual Hunger Games, we had been moved to the Victor's Village. Our families had moved into the exclusively designed houses with us and we had been given everything we needed. We even had our own Captiol shower in the bathroom with hot and cold water. I didn't need to go out hunting, but I did anyway. It kept me occupied so I didn't have to think about what had happened the last year. I knew all too well that it would be another round of Games in nearly a year and it was getting to me. Now I would have to be the mentor, alongside Peeta, to the two tributes from 12.

"I wonder what they'll do this year. What do you think?" Gale looked at me. He was talking about the Quarter Quell. Something the Capitol and Gamemakers did every twenty-five years as an anniversary to the Hunger Games. A glorified version of the Games to freshen up the memory of those killed by the districts' rebellion.

"I don't know. They do different stuff. It could be anything. All I know is that I'm probably the mentor this year." I admitted and kept chewing on the straw in my mouth. It was getting colder and colder which meant that winter would soon knock on the door. "And you have the victory tour." Gale pointed out.

He was right. I had my victory tour. Peeta and I, the winners of the 74th Hunger Games, had to travel around between the districts and face the people and the families to the other tributes who had lost their lives so we could win. Peeta hadn't killed anyone in the arena if you don't count Foxface but she died because of her curiosity. If she hadn't eaten those berries she could've been the one taking the tour now. I, on the other hand, was responsible for both Glimmer and Marvel from 1 and Cato from 2. And then there was Rue. Her death wasn't my fault but I couldn't help it. I did blame myself. I felt responsibility for Rue's death. I did watch over her and I didn't protect her like I should've.

"I've got to go, Gale. I need to stop by the Hob and then stop by Haymitch. See you later." He nodded and slightly smiled. I felt bad for leaving him like this but we couldn't just ignore my celeb status. Gale was supposed to my cousin and I was supposed to be in love with Peeta. _Peeta_. We had barely shared a look with each other since we got back from the last Games. As much as I wanted to forget about it; it was my fault. I had hurt his feelings the day we got back with telling him the truth about my feelings. Although it was _far_ from the truth, because I didn't know what my feelings were telling me. But I could admit that to him.

When I get home, I put away my hunting gear and give my mother the last rabbit left. She smiles slightly and calls for Prim to help her. We had gotten closer since I got back from the arena but I think it would be impossible for us to get even closer. I kind of understood why she blacked out like that when dad died- well I didn't understand it- but it still didn't help the fact that she left Prim and I to ourselves. Peeta was the one who understood my mother's reaction and he had tried to explain it to me on the train home from the Games. Because he, as much as I hated hearing it, said he wouldn't be able to live without me either. That he too would react that way if I had died in the Games. And I hated him for it.


	2. Peeta

**I do not own the Hunger Games, I just like writing about Suzanne Collin's amazing characters. This is my first fanfiction ever, so I would really appreciate some reviews with feedback. It would mean a lot to me. **

The knock on the door made me jump. I was living with a constant fear of the peacekeepers knocking on my door to take me away or worse, take Prim away. I knew the Captiol was out seeking revenge. Snow wouldn't give up until he had me broken in his hands.

But instead to my surprise, the door opened and my prep team walked inside with big smiles plastered on their faces.

"Surprise, Katniss! We came early!" Octavia was excited as always and ran over to hug me.

The smile that formed on my lips was undeniable. I had grown into loving these weird, talkative persons. Flavius and Venia soon got their turn with greetings.

I was happy to see them, no denying that, but I could not seem to come up with a reason to why they were here. They wouldn't come down here just because they missed me. Something was up.

"We're here to prep you up for the cameras, Katniss! You have to look pretty when we show you off with your boyfriend to the rest of Panem." Flavius spoke as if he had read my thoughts.

Oh right, I was supposed to be in love. With Peeta. The boy I hadn't even talked to since I got back. This was just making everything a whole lot easier.

Well I couldn't avoid Peeta forever either because we had to be together at the victory tour. That started at noon.

My prep team blabbered on as usual with their stories from Capitol. It was funny how they reacted on such small meaningless things, but to them District 12 would have been hell. They would probably not even last a few days before they would be begging to come back to their own homes.

I tried my best to ignore them because I had to think of what I was going to say to Peeta. I had been the one ignoring him, really.

He was only avoiding me because I hurt his feelings. And now, because of the damn Capitol, we have to act madly in love again.

Just like Peeta told me to do in the arena, only he was being real and I was acting out the whole thing to get sponsors.

"We're done! Let's get Cinna now!"

_Cinna_. I had missed him even more than I thought. Cinna had been my stylist for the Hunger Games and had an effect on me not many seemed to have. He managed to make me stay calm before I stepped onto the platform.

He was betting on me and I knew from the start that I had found a friend in him. One I could trust. One I could confide in.

Cinna walked in with that smile plastered on his face. I hugged him tightly and pulled back with a smile. He hadn't changed one bit. But when I noticed the heap of clothes he had brought, a frown replaced my smile.

Everyone laughed at me but soon got to work. Apparently Cinna had told the prep team to let my hair be and asked my mother to show them how she had braided my hair.

Everyone was paying so deep attention as my mother eased her fingers through my hair, that I thought they had gone out from the room.

"Why do I even need to dress up? It's not going to be visible." I whined as Cinna looked through the clothes.

Because of the sudden winter and cold, we had to be wearing big coats to protect our skin from the cold. So I couldn't see the point of getting dressed up.

"Not in District Eleven." Effie chirped as she walked back into the room.

Right. District 11 would be the first of the districts we would visit because since we won, 12 would be last. _Rue_. Her family would be there when we arrived. Would they hate me? What about Tresh's family?

I noticed Cinna was trying to put a coat on me, so I raised my arms. Before we had time to go out the door, my mother came running from our bedroom.

"For good luck." She smiled and placed the pin to my coat. I nodded and pulled her into my arms.

It took a while for her to comprehend but she wrapped her arms around me eventually and hugged back. "Thank you mom."

We pulled away and I let Prim leap into my arms. A laugh escaped my mouth when I realized her blouse was outside of her skirt.

"Tuck in that tale, little duck." She quacked at me with a giggle.

"I'm going to miss you, Prim. I'll be right back, I promise." She nodded and kissed my cheek.

At first the snow was making it impossible for me to see anything but soon I could make out Peeta's face as he was walking out his own front door. _Convince me_, Snow's words rang in my head.

My face breaks into a big smile as I run towards him. He looks at me confused but opens his arms and throws them around me. The compact of us colliding made us fall and I forgot all about his artificial leg.

We landed on top of each other in the snow where we kiss for the first time since the arena. No matter how much I had hurt him, Peeta would not expose me to the cameras. Won't give me a half-hearted kiss because he was still looking out for me.

Somehow that thought makes me want to cry.

The rest of the day was pretty much a blur. In no time at all, the old team were dining on a meal in, I couldn't remember the name of, in the train.

Peeta, Effie, Haymitch and I along with Cinna and Portia, Peeta's stylist. It felt good to be with them again although Peeta and I hadn't talked with each other yet.

"You can't continue with this silence when we reach district 11." Haymitch said and looked between the two of us.

I nodded, completely aware of what he was talking about. But he didn't really know why Peeta and I weren't talking in the first place. Or maybe he had a small idea.

He thought that we maybe had an argument or something along those lines but it was almost the opposite. We had barely talked and we still managed to hurt each other's feelings. Well, I hurt Peeta's.

"Thank you for the dinner. It was nice seeing you all again but I think I'm gonna go to my room."

I just couldn't bear the thought of Peeta, who was usually so good with words, being mute because of my actions.

Back then, it was a repulse. I had to make it believable to save our lives. To get sponsors. How could I know even he would believe it?

There was no way someone like him, could love someone like me but still, it was true. Peeta had truly loved me since he was five. He didn't act for the cameras, he was just showing his love for me and I didn't notice.

And I had to get it all out of my too fragile mind, so I decided to start with a shower.

**Thank you so much for reading, it means a lot! Who would you like to play Finnick in Catching Fire? Tell me in a review :D **


	3. Friends

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Hunger Games. It all fully belongs to Suzanne Collins. I'm just playing around with her amazing characters. **

**Thank you so much for reading, it really means a lot. If you have the time, please leave a review to let me know what you think. They are my motivation and really keep me going. **

There was a knock on my door just as I got out of the shower. Everything was so big and modern in Capitol. And this was just a train. Only the showers had about hundred different functions. I noticed my body smelled of roses when I had dried off which made me wonder if that was how every Capitol citizen smelled.

I dressed in a simple green shirt and some pants that were already placed in the huge dresser. Although I hated Capitol and everybody involved with the Hunger Games, I had to give them credit for the luxury. It was mind blowing.

When I opened the door I froze in shock. Not that I had anything against him but it surprised me that he knocked on my door.

"Hey." Peeta smiled down at me.

I forced a smile back but didn't do anything else. I kept my hand on the door handle and I didn't move my gaze from his chest.

"Could I come in?" When I looked up, the smile still hadn't disappeared from his face. I nodded slightly and opened the door wide before walking back to my bed.

I didn't fully understand why he was here. Did he want to be friends again? Peeta took a seat next to me on the bed ad folded his hands in his lap.

"Why are you here?"

It sounded so much ruder than I indented. I bit my lip and looked at his hands. The hands I had been holding in my own just yesterday.

"I just came to check up on you I guess. Katniss, we're going to meet the families of the tributes that were killed in the arena," He sighed. "I'm not okay."

His sudden forwardness took me aback a little. I knew he was right though so I nodded.

"Thank you. For checking up on me, I mean. I'm not okay, either." I admitted. Why did I even open up to him now? It took me several weeks just to tell Gale about myself.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked softly which made me look at him.

My eyes met his and I was in awe at how blue they were. Like a mix between the light blue sky and the dark blue water. He was quite handsome actually.

"I just…I'm scared. I don't want to meet those families. It's my fault they're dead. I even killed Glimmer and Marvel. I killed them with me own hands Peeta!"

The words sunk in when I said them aloud.

"No!" Peeta looked at me hard.

"It's not your fault, Katniss. I'm sure Glimmer and Marvel volunteered. They knew the consequences but still entered. You did it to survive." He whispered the last part so quietly that I almost didn't catch it.

Maybe he was right? I killed them both to survive so I could come back to Prim like I promised. I never intentionally wanted to kill them for the fun of it. That was too cruel.

"Maybe you're right but it still doesn't make up for the fact that I have to look their families in the eyes."

"I know…I just…I don't wish I could make this easier for you. But it's a part of the Victory Tour. We have to meet the people and give our speech before we can move on."

He was right. I knew we had to do this. It happened every year. Only this year, there were two winners. Peeta and I had managed to stay alive together through the Games and were now taking the victory tour together.

It felt weird to be in a room alone with Peeta again. Talking like nothing had happened between us. Like the kisses and caresses in the arena meant nothing to him although I knew it was the exact opposite. I

t meant so much to him but for me it was all an act. I could see the pain in his eyes when they met mine. I could read him that well. He was an excellent liar but his body language was easy to read.

"I'm sorry." I blurted out.

Peeta looked at me as his brows met on his forehead. He was confused.

"I'm sorry about acting, back in the arena. I'm sorry I made you believe it was real. I'm sorry I have to make you do this." I waved my hand between us to let him know I was talking about making him sit here with me.

He shook his head with a smile sadly playing on his lips.

"It's not your fault, Katniss. I should've known it was an act. A girl like you would never love me but I was just too caught up in the fact that you were kissing me, even when there were cameras around us, to realize it. You have nothing to be sorry for. And I want to be here with you now."

He was being too kind. Of course it was my fault. Yes, he couldn't make me love him but at least I could've speared him and told him I was doing it for the sponsors.

I just couldn't help but feel sorry for him when the pain and emptiness was visible in his usually beaming eyes. Because when he used to be with me alone like this, he wouldn't be able to hide how happy he was but now I could tell he wasn't.

"Can we at least…try to be friends again?"

His question shocked me. I couldn't say no though. I owed him that much and if he was okay with it, then why not?

I kept quiet though which made Peeta wrinkle his forehead again. With a small laugh, I leaned forward and smoothed them out.

"Yes. Of course we can be friends, Peeta!" A smile immediately formed on his face and I had to smile back.

That's when I noticed the dark outside and shivers went down my spine at the thought. It was dark which meant it was time to sleep soon. And sleep meant more nightmares.

The nightmares had been a constant reminder for me of what happened in the Games. I relieved almost every incident every night and woke up with a scream and drenched in my own sweat.

Sometimes it was of the mutts hunting Cato, Peeta and I. sometimes it would be of Glimmer's swelled body and sometimes it would be Rue's death.

It could be off Peeta with me in the cave dying or my arrow drilling through Marvel. The fire chasing me through the forest or the frightening hallucinations from the tracker-jackers.

I just couldn't relive them tonight.

"Peeta, will you sleep with me tonight?"

**Thank you so much! So, tell me..which book in the series is your favorite? Answer me in a review if you want to :) **


	4. Weak

**Once again; I do not own the Hunger Games. Suzanne is the brilliant brain behind everything and I'm just writing a fanfic based on her story and with her amazing characters. I have finally checked my emails. Wow.. thank you for all the alerts and favorites, it means so much! Thank you :D**

When Effie knocked on my door the next morning, I woke up in Peeta's embrace. We had fallen asleep talking yesterday and I had a feeling she wasn't going to like the thought.

"I'll be right there." I yelled loud enough for her to hear so she would leave us alone.

When I turned in Peeta's arms, he immediately hugged me tighter so I wouldn't be able to go. He was so peaceful that when I finally had managed to get out of his strong grip, I couldn't bear wake him up.

After the exclusive shower I got dressed in another shirt and some grey trousers. These clothes weren't as expensive looking as the other Capitol clothes I'd seen before but it suited me better. Those clothes didn't get it with me.

I leaned down and kissed Peeta's cheek before I disappeared out the room. As much as I wanted to deny it- I couldn't. Peeta had made an impression on me yesterday and I couldn't seem to get him out of my head. And that bothered me.

Haymitch was sitting at the breakfast table already when I entered the eating chamber. It was no surprise when I saw the bottle in his right hand but it made my anger boil. Couldn't he just stop for once?

How hard could it be to leave the bottle alone for at least a day? How would he be able to help us on this tour? My teeth lashed out for my bottom lip to keep myself from doing anything stupid.

I sat down in front of him but it didn't seem like he registered it or he could be ignoring me.

"Oh, there you are. Where is Peeta?"

Effie Trinket sat down beside Haymitch with a clipboard in hand but she made sure to give Haymitch his space.

"He's asleep," I answered. I couldn't let them know he had slept in my bed.

"And how would you know that, sweetheart?"

Haymitch looked at me with an eyebrow raised. Damn, he was smarter than I thought. Because I couldn't really know that Peeta was asleep unless I had seen him.

So I came up with the best excuse I could.

"I was going to ask him for some headache medicine before I came here but he didn't answer his door."

Haymitch didn't seem satisfied with my answer but he let it pass which I was very grateful about.

A couple of minutes later though, Peeta walked through the door, fully dressed and with his hair still wet. He shot me a smile immediately when he spotted me which seemed so genuine that I could help but to smile back. I could feel Haymitch's eyes on me as Peeta approached us but I pretended not to notice.

"You forgot this last night."

Peeta held his hand up in front of me with my mockingjay pin in-between his fingers. I quickly took it from his grip and pinned it to my shirt gratefully.

Madge, pretty much my only friend except Gale, had given it to me before we left and I was not going to lose it with the first. I had tried giving it to Rue, but she didn't want it.

Peeta had said I forgot it last night which meant that he had understood it too. Not to tell Effie and Haymitch about our night together. We sat in silence until the food came.

It was like the food was made to make an impression and it surely did. There were so much and it was soo good. When I finished with a croissant with sprinkles, I leaned back in my chair.

"That was bread from District 11, do you remember?" Peeta asked me. I shouldn't be surprised- he is the baker's son. He grew up with breads.

"It was good. Not as good as your cheese buns but it was good." He chuckled lightly.

Now I couldn't wait for supper. Effie told us to do whatever we wanted until 7pm when she would collect us to eat supper together and then we would watch the reaping afterwards in the TV chamber.

I was on my way back to the chamber given out to me only, when I felt someone grip my wrist. I turned around ready to smack the person, preferably in the face, although the head would do but when I turned, I stood face to face with my co-tribute.

My face probably showed shock and confusion but he didn't bother to explain himself. With a sly smile on his lips he pulled me with him in the narrow corridor. We walked for two or three minutes which made wonder how long the train actually was.

Then we finally reached his destination. The end car.

It was a sofa in the middle of the room with golden frames and the cushions were covered in a red velvet fabric. The wall in front of the sofa was glass windows along with the roof.

It was a sight I never thought I would see. Most of all because I didn't think of the possibility of getting reaped.

"I found it yesterday before I knocked on your door. Isn't it a pretty sight?" I nodded agreeing. It was indeed a pretty place.

Peeta sat down in the sofa and patted the empty seat next to him. I hesitated for a little bit but eventually my curiosity got the best of me. Why did he take me here?

When I sat down he still didn't say anything but I felt his gaze on me. Minutes passed but nothing happened and neither of us said anything. It was beginning to annoy me and now I was thinking about going back to my room.

"Which district do you think will be the worst, Katniss?" Peeta asked me.

I turned to look at him while I was thinking about it. "Well, to be honest, I think 11 will be the worst. I know I didn't kill any of them but with Rue's death…I was her ally and I let her die." He nodded.

"You have to stop blaming yourself for everything. It wasn't your fault and you revenged her death by killing Marvel and covering her with the flowers."

When those words escaped his mouth I realized that it was exactly how it was. That was the first time I did anything that went against Capitol. Then I followed with the nightlock berries.

Snow wanted revenge on me now because I went against him. All I could do was to try to convince him about being happily in love with Peeta.

I hated the thought of being one of the President's targets, but it was only myself to blame. And weakness was not welcome.

"I'll be by your side, in every district at every time," Peeta whispered and wrapped his hand around my own.

I tensed at his words. Maybe it was because of the way he cared about me even after what I did? Or maybe his touch? I didn't know but I didn't really care.

With my thumb I started making calming circles on the back of his hand. In the corner of my eye I could see a smile starting to form on his lips.

"You know, to be the fearless and tough Katniss you surely know how to make a guy feel weak."

**Thank yoooooooou! :) So I figured I would continue with this question thing. I'll ask you a question in the end of every chapter and hopefully at least one of you will answer in a review. It isn't too hard, now is it? **

**What is your favorite scene from the book and why?**


	5. Nightmares

**I'm back! It's not that long ago since I updated but I care about you guys so much that I updated early. Is there even anyone out there? **

**As I said before; I'm not the owner of the Hunger Games. Suzanne Collins is and always will be the rightful owner. **

**When that is cleared; here's chapter 5. I hope you like it, I really do. If you do (or if you don't), please leave a review to let me know. And I'll try to make it better. Thank you so much for reviewing, it means a lot. And thanks for the alerts and thanks to you who add it to your favorites. **

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**I'll shut up and let you read now :D**

The visit in District Eleven started out better than I thought it would. Of course I was speechless the moment we stepped onto the stage and looked over the crowd. Thankfully though, Peeta always knew what to say. He always had the words ready.

When I had attempted to write the speech at home, I ended up sitting there with a blank piece of paper after four hours. Because I knew that the words I wanted to say couldn't be written down. They had to be said from the heart.

Peeta was, as always, good with the words. He looked like he had planned this a long time ago. Like the words were streaming out of his mouth naturally. But that was just Peeta's talent. He had his way with words and this time was no exception.

My eyes met with a man in the crowd. He had dark colored skin and his eyes looked awfully a lot like Rue's. He was surrounded by young children and a wife by his side. Then it hit me.

They were her family. It was her father. Rue's father. The pain in his eyes was almost unbearable. It was no hate in their eyes though which meant they didn't blame me.

Peeta had just promised them we'd send them money every month but still it was something in his eyes telling me it was not enough. Peeta was done and there wasn't really anything left for us to do but to leave.

He was demanding something more from me but I had to figure it out myself. They were about to shut the screens off when I yelled out. I knew what he wanted.

"I have to say something," I began nervously.

"Peeta did all the talking and he did a great job doing our speech. Those words he said mean the same for me as they do to him but I have to say something without a manuscript."

I took a deep breath as I looked out to the awaiting citizens.

"Rue and Tresh were both special people. Rue was so innocent and little and I couldn't help but trust her. And I was right in that. She practically saved my life that night so I made her to my ally. And I promise you," I turned to her family.

"If I could've taken that spear instead of her I would. And to Tresh's family; he was a special boy. Both of your tributes saved my life in that arena and I'm beyond grateful. It means so much to me. I'll never forget about them or you, District Eleven!"

First it's one, then three and then six. They all kissed their three middle fingers and reached them out to me, to us. Just like I did to them when Rue died, to show them my respect. The sight was surreal. To see all their hands reached out like that.

Suddenly an old man standing in the front caught my eye. He started whistling Rue's work song. The signal she used, to tell the workers that their day of work was over. The one she taught me in the arena so we would know if one another was safe. Then hell broke loose.

One moment I'm looking the man in the eyes with a smile because of the memory, then the next a bullet is in his head.

He fell immediately to the ground and everyone started screaming and yelling. The Peacekeepers tried their best to contain them and threatened them with their weapons. Pushing them back and forth or poking them with the tip of their gun.

Peeta's hand secured around my waist tightly and the Peacekeepers that were with us pushed us back into the building. Then the big, heavy doors closed behind us with a loud thud.

They pushed us into the next room where Haymitch and Effie were waiting. Effie shot up from her chair the moment she spotted us with a face reading pure shock.

"What is happening? We heard your beautiful speech and then something happened but the Peacekeepers shoved us back in and then we heard shooting."

I nodded, confirming her words to her horror. We wouldn't be able to keep the truth from her for long anyway.

The memory of the old man being shot down pops into my head as if someone had just turned a switch. How could they shoot him like that? Did they hurt anyone else? What about Rue's family? Were they still alive? He had looked me right in the eyes when he was shot.

I couldn't recognize the emotion in his eyes but somehow it wasn't sorrow. Neither pain, really. Although it must have hurt him.

I could feel the tears slowly appear at the brim of my eyes and I buried my face into Peeta's chest to hide it. For all I knew, there could be cameras around filming us and I couldn't seem weak. If President Snow saw it he would just use it to his advantage. Immediately, Peeta wrapped his arms around me protectively.

"I'll get her to bed. It's been a long day." He explained to them quietly. It had been more than a long day. It had been a horrible day. A terrible one.

Before I knew it, my legs were swept from under me and I was in Peeta's arms. Of course one of the Peacekeepers had to walk with us to make sure we didn't do anything they didn't like, but I didn't really mind.

Most of the time, I just kept my face hidden in the crook of Peeta's neck. I could tell the extra weight, gave his new leg some competition but Peeta didn't show any signs of dismay.

"I can walk, you know. If it's too much for your leg, I mean?" My voice breaking because of the tears but Peeta shook his head with a smile.

"No, it's okay. Just relax." He whispered and so I did.

I was nearly asleep when I felt him open a door. I peeked through my lashes and realized we were already inside my chamber in the train. He placed me down carefully but smiled slightly once he realized I was still awake. He leaned down and dabbed my cheek with his thumb.

I closed my eyes when he stroked my hair away from my forehead. I was tired from the tears and the day had been hard, emotionally.

"It will be over soon, Katniss. I promise. Then you'll be home with Prim and Gale again and you don't have to talk to me."

I felt my forehead wrinkle at his words. What was he talking about? Not talk to him? Was that what he wanted?

"N-no…We're friends now, remember? We kind of have to talk together and besides; we're together." I reminded him but my voice was so weak that it came out as a whisper. Peeta smiled at me with a nod.

"Okay. I won't stop talking to you. As long as you want to talk to me." I nodded and smiled weakly. I'm surprised at how quickly it changed. When I was holding the speech I felt, well not happiness, but I felt a little relieved.

That I could tell their families what I meant but then after the old man got shot, it was like all my energy was drained from my body along with the feelings; every feeling except for fear and sorrow. They would not seem to leave me alone just yet.

Ten districts to go and we would be done. I could go home to my hunting and Peeta back to his baking. And we would be friends. Real friends this time with no pretending.

A huff came from me which made Peeta laugh. I tried my best to give him an annoyed glare but he only laughed more. I took in the sight of his body beside me and sighed.

He looked healthy and happy, at least now, which was so much different from the thin hurt boy I witnessed in the arena. I never wanted to see him like that again.

So pale from all the blood loss. The pus from his cut. Talking nonsense because of the way too high fever. He was too kind, even then. He didn't deserve to be reaped that day. Or someone should have at least taken his place- like I did with Prim.

"Katniss? Your nightmares…what do you dream about?" His question took me slightly off guard. I had never really told anyone about what my dreams usually resolved around. Mostly because I thought everyone knew. Especially him.

"They're usually pictures from the Games. The bloodbath at the Cornucopia in the beginning. Rue's death. Being engulfed by the flames in the woods. You almost dying from blood poisoning and the mutts. The mutts seem to appear in my dreams somehow almost every night. What about you?"

I knew he had nightmares too. Because when I woke him up with my own nightmares and he finally got back to sleep, I was awake to see him turning and tossing, whimpering. When it became too much I resolved to slipping my arms around him and pulled him close to myself. To calm us both down.

"My nightmares are usually about losing you," He admitted. "Then I wake up and see you're here with me, safe. It's harder when I don't know if you're here or not. Like when we got back to the district. I would wake up almost every night screaming and my father had to convince me you were just a few houses away, sleeping safely in your bed."

I didn't know that. I thought he had the same repulsing images as I had stuck in his head. I would've considered him lucky but to him, those nightmares were probably worse than my own.

"Can you…tell me about one of them?" I had to know.

He sighed, bracing himself. "There is this one that has been haunting me lately. It's mostly the same nightmare every night but it stops. We're fighting with Cato on top of the Cornucopia. But it's you he is holding in a headlock. Choking you ever so slowly. He's just smirking at me, waiting to see my next move. Taunting me. I am hurt in my leg, by the mutts just like it happened in reality."

He looked down to his leg swiftly before moving his gaze back to my stomach where it had been. This wasn't easy for him, I could tell.

"It is like it's taking me for ever to reach you. I stretch out my hand and you are about to stretch out yours to meet mine, when Cato loses his balance," He gulped before continuing. "And just as you both are about to fall into the mutts waiting mouths the whole thing stops. I don't know if I'm able to save you, if you die or if Cato does. But judging from my other nightmares, I'm guessing you die."

I grabbed his hand softly in my own, rubbing it. "I'm here Peeta. The mutts won't hurt me and neither will Cato. He's dead."

"I know but it is still terrifying to know that I could lose you anytime. Maybe you won't die, but you could get hurt or worse…I could lose you to another."

_Gale_. Peeta had Gale in mind when he said this. Maybe I would end up with Gale for all I knew but right now I did not want anyone else than Peeta beside me. A yawn unwillingly escaped my lips and he stroked my cheek softly before he stood up from the bed after wrapping me inside the cover. He smiled down at my pathetic state. I felt so hopeless and I wasn't even sick. Not even the slightest headache.

"Remember; we're supposed to be madly in love, so don't be afraid to kiss me."

Peeta laughed softly and leaned down so he could press his lips to mine. "Sweet dreams, Katniss."

**Thank you once again for reading. It really means a lot to me, I don't even know how to explain it. I mean…it feels good to write a story someone would actually take time to read. **

**Who is your favorite tribute (besides Katniss and Peeta) in the first Games and why?**


	6. Hunger

**I don't own the Hunger Games. **

**This chapter was finished a week or two ago. I've written to chapter 15 already and I'm far from finished. Thank you all for reading but tell me if it's boring, please? I wanna make the best out of this story for you guys :) And just so it's clear, I don't have a beta. I'm from Norway so my English isn't the best, but I try! **

**WARNING: This chapter will contain lemons and you're reading at your own risk. It's rated M for a reason. ;) **

I felt so exhausted. But I knew we had more districts to visit. I got dressed into the muted orange dress Cinna had laid out for me. I had a feeling Peeta was going to like this. Before I walked out, I undid my messy braid so I could braid it again and then I was ready to go. Ready for another day of hell, probably. At least I didn't kill anyone in Ten.

When I sat down, Haymitch studied my face closely. I raised my eyebrow but he didn't' respond.

I didn't have more time to think about it either, because Effie appeared in front of us with the clipboard in hand which meant she had some messages to give. Haymitch shot her a dirty look but she brushed it off and lifted her chin higher.

"Today it's just the same procedure as yesterday. You hold your speech, thank the people and come back here. Understood? "

The day passed much faster than it had yesterday and fortunately there was no shooting at all. Not even a sign of a rebellion but no one sent me deadly looks either. And I was grateful. I wouldn't be able to keep this up if I would get looks of hate in every district.

"Keep up with those speeches. It'll be over before you know it." Haymitch said to Peeta and me. I nodded.

Haymitch would know this better than the two of us. He had been there. Even though Haymitch was a drunk, we couldn't forget that he had been where we were. Experienced it all. He had once been a tribute in the Games and he had also managed to stay alive through it all. I had to say I admired him a little but the drinking made me lose my respect for him. I just couldn't help it.

"Now go to bed and let the grown-ups talk alone."

Peeta and I got up from our seats and walked side by side through the corridor. It was quiet and only the train on the tracks gave off sound. When I spotted my door, I grabbed Peeta's hand to stop him.

"Thank you…for making it less scary to be out there today. And you looked handsome in that outfit, bread boy," I said. "Sweet dreams, Peeta."

It came out as whisper right under his ear because I was standing on my toes. I kissed his cheek but this time dangerously close to his lips. Then I disappeared into my room, leaving him in the hallway alone.

When I had closed the door, I noticed how big I was smiling. I couldn't wrap my mind around it all. How quickly I had gotten close to Peeta again. How safe I felt when he held me in his arms at night. How he made me feel. And it was beginning to scare me. How _did_ he make me feel? That was the question that needed to be answered.

I had stripped down to my underwear when there was a knock on the door.

"It's me." A smirk found its way to my face and I opened the door for him, forgetting that I had undressed. Peeta looked at me in awe and that's when I remembered. As an attempt to cover myself up, I threw my arms around myself and looked to the ground.

Peeta closed the door before he made his way over to me, slowly. I looked at him intently as he reached out and removed my hands. "You're beautiful, Katniss." My cheeks heated at his words and I cursed myself for reacting that way.

Suddenly, I found myself kissing him again. But this time it felt different. _I_ felt different. I felt hunger. Lust, even.

My teeth grazed his bottom lip and he granted my request. Our tongues battled while Peeta slowly walked me backwards to the bed. This was all so new to me.

He placed me down softly and lay down beside me, supporting his weight on his elbow. His free hand explored my half-naked body from top to bottom. I had never been intimate with anyone before but if this was how it felt, then I wouldn't mind doing it again. I tugged at Peeta's shirt and he seemed to get my message.

We broke the kiss to get it off him but the moment his lips were visible again, I attacked them with my own. I traced my hands down to his well shaped chest. A low rumbling sound came from him as I brushed against his nipple. He seemed to like that so I did it once more, making Peeta bite his lip.

My hands found their way to the button on his trousers and he did nothing to stop me when I unbuttoned it. It wasn't difficult to the evidence of his arousal and I took it as a sign that he wanted this as badly as me.

Peeta moved his lips away from mine only to press them to my neck. He found what I guessed was my sensitive spot, because everytime his lips touched it, a slight sigh escaped from my mouth. He seemed satisfied that he had found a weak spot but I didn't want him to win this game, so I grabbed his pants and pulled them off.

He raised his hips so it would be easier and kicked the item off when it was at his ankles. His soft fingers reached behind my back and unclipped my bra, freeing my breasts.

As a reflex, I used my hands to cover myself up again. With a soft smile he moved them away and kissed my collarbone.

"You're beautiful. Don't hide from me." He murmured into my ear and his hot breath sent shivers down my spine.

His lips made their way downwards agonizingly slowly. I gasped when his lips hugged around my nipple. He began licking it slowly before he started sucking. Then he repeated it as his hands continued their journey.

He moved down my body, taking in my every body part. When he was at my lower stomach, he stopped and looked up at me. His blue eyes were clearly reflecting lust but also sincerity.

"Katniss? Can I…can I touch you?" My body seemed to take its own decision and I nodded my head. I wanted him, no I _needed_ him. I had to be close to him; as intimate as possible.

Peeta hooked his index fingers at the side my panties and pulled them down slowly. He smiled up at me as his hand was stroking my thigh. He looked at me now as if my body was a piece of Greek art. It made me feel appreciated somehow.

Without warning, Peeta stuck a finger deep into me and I gasped at the feeling. This was all new to me. He took it out then put it back in and he continued like that- thrusting his finger inside me. I moaned his name softly.

"You're so wet, Katniss…" Peeta mumbled, dazed.

He made me feel so good and I had to let him know. I felt my stomach contract with pleasure. It was this new, foreign feeling but whatever it was it felt heavenly, especially when Peeta caused it. The pleasure was getting even stronger and I felt my body tremble as a wave flowed through my body.

"I want you to feel good too." I whispered and watched him closely as he crawled on the bed which took a little more time because of his new leg.

I gripped the waistline of his undershorts and pulled them down slowly, wasting no time. I was hungry for him. The sight of him made me realize what I was doing but the truth was; I didn't want to stop. I needed this now and I could not deny it. _I needed him_. Although I had no idea how to proceed.

Peeta noticed my insecurity and smiled softly at my helpless expression. "It's okay, Katniss. I haven't done this before either. Just…touch me. If you still want to do this, of course?" Of course I was sure or we wouldn't be here in the first place. I pushed the thought out of my head and concentrated on Peeta again. He deserved to feel good.

I leaned back, taking in the sight of his body in all its glory. Only a few fainted scars were visible from the Games. The biggest one being on his thigh where Cato's sword cut him deep. My eyes moved down to his artificial leg which I could easily see bothered him.

"You're beautiful, Peeta." I mumbled softly, reassuring him. I placed my lips on his jaw, continuing down slowly. Kissing his neck, collarbone, chest and down his stomach. When I gently grabbed his hard member in my hand, the breath hitched in his throat.

He still sensed how unsure I was and placed his hand on top of my own. Slowly, he started leading my hand up and down his length. I could tell this felt good to him as he bit his lip again. Eventually he let me try the waters for my own. This was my first time ever doing this and it surprised at how natural it felt with Peeta. He closed his eyes and threw his head back into the pillow.

"Oh, Katniss." He moaned. I smiled, satisfied with my accomplishment. "What do you want me to do, Peeta? What feels good?" I asked, wanting to make him feel as good as he had made me feel.

He looked at me for a moment. "Grip a little harder." I continued my movement, increasing my speed slowly and tightening my grip. Sighs of pleasure came from him as I did making me go faster.

"Oh fuck." It was the first time I had heard Peeta curse but it only encouraged me on even more.

"Yes…Katniss? Let g- _yes_. Oh god." His teeth attacked his bottom lip when he came undone all over my hands and chest, unable to warn me. His face was red with embarrassment but I leaned down and kissed him, letting him know it was okay.

He hooked his arms around me and turned us around, so I was lying in the soft covers with my head on the pillow. He then looked at me unsurely. I nodded with a soft smile to encourage him. I did not want him to stop.

He used his hand to guide himself to my now wet folds. When he pushed himself into me, I cried out. He immediately stopped and looked at me with worried eyes.

"Don't stop. Please don't stop," I pleaded. He nodded and pulled out then pushed himself into me again; like he had done with his finger a few moments ago. It was a first time for us both so it was a little awkward to begin with.

After a few minutes of head bumping, sighs of pleasure, kissing and licking, Peeta managed to find a good rhythm for us both. Plunging himself deeper into me every time.

The sensation filling my body was unexplainable. I did not have words but it didn't seem like I needed them either at this stage. It all felt surreal in some kind of way. Maybe like a dream because I had never pictured myself in this situation. Ever.

"Oh, Peeta… That feels so good!" I whispered and fingered with his blonde hair.

A couple drops of sweat appeared on his forehead. The room was filled with both our sighs and soft cries.

He was going deeper and deeper, filling me up. My hips automatically bucked to meet his thrusts, making Peeta able to go even deeper.

"Peeta!" I moaned loudly as my body shook. An odd, warm feeling rushed through my lower body and I bit down at Peeta's shoulder to hold in my moan.

A couple of seconds later, Peeta called out my name and collapsed on top of me. He kissed my lips softly before covering our naked bodies with the blanket.

Usually, I hated just the thought of making myself this vulnerable to someone but lying there with Peeta didn't repulse me in any way at all. Rather the completely opposite. It made me feel happier than I had in a very long time.

"Goodnight Katniss." He whispered and wrapped his arms around my waist and held me like I was the most precious thing he had.

**Thank you so much for reading! I don't usually write a lot of smut so if it disappointed you, I'm sorry. I try my best! I really appreciate you guys though, really! What did you think about how the book got transformed into the movie? Did you like it?**


	7. Goodnight

**I don't own the Hunger Games. Collins is the rightful owner. **

**Thank you so much for the reviews, alerts and of course at all reading! It means a lot but please let know your opinions guys. I can't make this good for you if I don't know what you mean. Don't be afraid to tell me, I judge no one. And you're more than welcome to answer my questions in the end of the chapters ;) And I'm sorry it took a while but I wasn't able to update before the weekend and I wasn't home…**

**Anyway; I'll shut up now. **

"Good morning." Peeta smiled at me when I fluttered my eyes open. I smiled back softly. The soreness from when I moved to get up, confirmed that what happened last night was indeed not a dream. It had happened for real.

The warm water from the shower felt so good against my skin but I knew all too well that I couldn't be in there forever. We were in the Capitol today and we had to attend the celebration in President Snow's mansion. It was no choice and it never really had been. Ever since the episode with the berries, my choices had been taken away from me.

I was not looking forward to it at all. I didn't want to be in his house after he had threatened my best friend. I was just a girl from Twelve. Nothing more, nothing less. Well, except that I had won the brutal Games and defied the Capitol with my co-tribute at my side. To Snow, I was a spark that could ignite a fire. Peeta had disappeared from my room when I stepped out from the bathroom but it was probably for the best.

I smiled at him as he grabbed my hand. There would be cameras here just as in the other districts and we had to act like we were in love. _I_ had to. Convince even President Snow we were madly in love. As horrible as it might sound I wish it was Peeta being threatened because he did not have to pretend. To him this was real. His cute smiles. His hand wrapping around mine. His kisses. It was all actions of love.

Cinna had now dressed me in a long dark purple dress similar to the one I wore in the interviews to the Hunger Games. Kind of like the sunset just as it turns into dark. It was made out of organza, as Cinna told me, but it just went straight down to my ankles. Nothing too fancy. But to add a little sexiness to it, Flavius' words, not mine, it was open in the back almost down to my bottom but today I didn't really care. Cinna had also braided my hair into a bun, leaving a few strands out in the front which he had curled softly. Peeta was dressed in a black suit with a purple tie so he would match me.

He looked so handsome as he walked over to me and maneuvered his hand into my own, intertwining our fingers. A goofy grin was placed upon his face when I first dared to look up at his flawless face. "You look really beautiful today, Katniss." My cheeks heated at his compliment and I knew I was blushing. "Thank you. You do not look too bad yourself, Peeta."

We indeed had to look quite good together, because people came up to us all the same to compliment it or to just comment on our matching outfits. One even asked where my hair braid design was from. Though it still didn't make me feel better about playing with Peeta's feelings. He surely knew I didn't feel the same way for him as he did for me, so I wasn't actually playing with him. Just making it worse, more likely. Although he would never admit to that.

The food in Capitol never disappointed. I think it's their goal; to make people remember the food because then maybe they wouldn't forget about Capitol either. I was so full that I was sure I would burst if I ate another meal.

Venia and Octavia tried to tell me about the pills which made room for more but when I figured they made you threw up, I quickly declined. I didn't feel like getting sick. I was afraid that it would drain all my energy again.

"Could I have this dance?" My eyes met with Peeta's. He had bowed down in front of me, holding out his hand. I laughed softly and nodded, taking his hand in my own.

He led me out to the dance floor and placed his hands firmly on my waist. I wrapped my own arms around his and pulled him closer. My head rested on his chest as we swayed to the music by the live band. I wonder how much that cost President Snow.

It was like everyone were looking at us now and I knew it would be on televisions all over Panem. I wondered what Prim thought when she saw us. Would she want to be here to? Or was she too busy healing another hurt person with my mother?

All too soon, someone came to intrude our dance and that someone just happened to be a briefly drunk Haymitch. "I'm sorry to intrude your moment, sweetheart. But we have some news to tell you."

I grabbed Peeta's hand in my own. "If it's about me then Peeta gets to know it too."

Haymitch looked at us for a moment, specifically at our intertwined hands, and then nodded shortly. There was no point in arguing about this with me, I wouldn't budge and he knew that well. He led us out of the crowded room.

I didn't notice how much all the attention and noise had bothered me, before I let out a sigh of relief when we were out. Peeta laughed softly, making me squeeze his hand a little too harshly than indented as a warning.

Effie met us halfway and even she too looked be a bit tipsy. That surprised me a lot because Effie didn't seem like the first person to drink. We ended up in a room upstairs in the top floor. We walked into the room and into another door from there. How did Haymitch even know where he was leading us?

"So, spill. I heard you got a visit from the President."

I knew I couldn't keep that secret for long. I told them everything. About the visit, about Gale and how we all would be dead if we failed. If I failed at convincing the President about my love for Peeta. "Then you can't fail."

"If you just help me through this tri-" I started.

"No, Katniss! It isn't just this trip. You and Peeta will be mentors now for years and every year they'll come back to broadcast the life of the Star-Crossed lovers. You have to live happily ever after with that boy, sweetheart. At least in public."

I froze. Both mentally and psychically. I wasn't able to react at all. I knew what this meant.

I wouldn't be able to have a life with Gale, even if I wanted to. I would never be able to live alone. I would never get privacy.

"Do you understand what I'm saying, Katniss?"

I would always be in the hands of the Capitol. I would always be their puppet.

"Sweetheart?"

What about Prim? Would they hurt her if I didn't listen?

"Katniss!"

I shook my head to clear the awful thoughts starting to form. My eyes met Haymitch's but I still did noting. I didn't dare to.

"We have to marry each other." Peeta whispered, confirming my growing fear.

I would have to marry Peeta to save us all. If not, everyone would die and I would die last so I could suffer through it. President Snow would most definitely make sure of that.

"I'm sorry, Katniss! I know you don't want this at all but is there really something else we can do?" Peeta turned to me, pain and sincerity in his blue orbs.

I shook my head again. I couldn't seem to find my voice. "There isn't. This is what we have to do."

I would marry Peeta. But that didn't mean we would have to live together every day. It didn't mean that we would marry for real. Right?

The rest of the day flew my so fast and before I knew it, I was waking up in my bed drenched in sweat. Another nightmare.

My door opened and there stood none other than Peeta in just his undershorts. He looked at me knowingly. I tried to smile through the tears that were now gathering in the corner of my eyes. I raised my hand, taking the bedcover with me, inviting him to join me.

Peeta slipped into bed with me and immediately wrapped his arms around me. His chest got wet from my tears as I placed my head under his chin. A natural warmth was radiating from his skin which felt good against my own.

"You died." I whispered quietly knowing already that he would ask if I wanted to talk about it. He always did though I usually always said no. If I had the chance I would prefer not to relive them and I would have if I decided to explain.

"The mutts…they got you. They dragged you down from the Cornucopia and I-I couldn't help you. My bow…no arrows left. I heard you scream. You screamed so loudly in pain. You screamed for me. I-I pressed my hands to my ears…I couldn't listen anymore, Peeta!"

"Shhh…I'm here, Katniss. I'm here. Go back to sleep, I'll make sure you don't have any nightmares. I'll be here."

"Always?"

"Always." He confirmed and pressed his lips to mine. The kiss deepened not long after, our tongues touching again. Peeta hooked his arm around my wait and in one swift movement, I was sitting on top of him. He casually placed his hands on my hips and his thumb rubbing them with his calloused fingers.

"You look so beautiful right now…" He mumbled as his right hand moved up my bare back. I felt him grabbing the bra before it fell down onto his chest. This time, I didn't cover myself up. I let him see me. Leaning down, I attached our lips again. This hunger was still a foreign feeling but it felt so incredibly good.

I ground myself against Peeta, earning a gasp out of surprise from him. I was a little surprised too but I decided to let my body take the lead this time. To get the most pleasure out of it. That was what I needed. To feel loved. And right now, Peeta was the only one who could make that happen. The only one who would make me feel appreciated and loved this way.

He smirked shyly as he moved so we changed positions again. I was lying on the pillow, my hair fanning out behind me. My hands were raised over my head as if I was just waiting for Peeta to take me. His lips soon found my erect nipple and wrapped around it. This made my breath quickened out of both surprise and pleasure.

He sucked on it softly before he moved on to the left. As he did this, his free hand moved down my almost trembling body taking my underwear with it. I felt exposed but I trusted Peeta with my life and I couldn't deny that he had seen me naked before. His hand cupped my wetness. "I need more, Peeta." This made him grin even bigger and a finger entered me.

"Oh…"

He added another finger into me, pumping them in and out. This felt so good and I bucked my hips against his hand. This was nothing compared to him inside of me but I didn't complain. His thumb pressed down on my bundle of nerves, making me hiss out.

"Could you…do that again?" I pleaded to him, desperate for his touch. His thumb repeated the same process and I moaned out his name. He understood that I had taken a liking to it so while his long fingers dipped in and out of me, his thumb was running the bundle. This and together with the soft nibbling on my shoulder did it for me.

"Oh god…yes Peeta…" He smiled, satisfied and pulled out from me. I smiled back at him softly, my cheeks flushed. I wasn't sure how loud I had been but I knew I hadn't concentrated on being quiet either. If Haymitch had heard this, I was dead. Both because of playing with Peeta's heart like that and out of embarrassment.

"Goodnight Katniss. You'll be safe in my arms, I promise." He whispered once he had placed himself beside me again and encircled me with his strong arms. Still dazed, I snuggled into the crook of his neck with a pleasant sigh.

"Thank you, Peeta. If this is what I get for waking up with nightmares then I might just be able to live with them. Goodnight."

**Thank you! I had to make it longer so and I was stuck. I'm sorry if you don't like them getting steamy with each other like that but I had to. And besides…I guess you can call me a somewhat perv but that is up to you! Hahaha ;) **

**What is your favorite scene from the movie? Was it like you had pictured when you read the book? **


	8. Alcohol

**I don't own the Hunger Games at all. It belongs to Suzanne Collins. There are quotes directly from the book in this chapter but I needed to write it like that or I would've probably ruined it, so I stuck to the script ;) Thank you so much for everything. It really means a lot to me. Well, I thought this chapter sucked but tell me what **_**you**_** thought! **

"Thank you, dear!" I looked back at Greasy Sae with a smile.

I had been out hunting and met a couple of wild dogs. My arrow went straight through the pack leader's scull and scared the others away. Of course I was careful when I made my way back but they didn't come out to seek justice for their friend, at least not today. So I was in no trouble.

"You're welcome, Sae. As long as I get a taste of your soup when it's finished," I joked. The food in the Capitol was much better, I had to admit that, but I had grown up with Sae's soup and wasn't done eating it with the first.

I decided to pay the bakery a visit before I went back home. Mr. Mellark would be happy to see me, that's for sure. Peeta was nowhere to be seen when the bell above the door signalized they had costumers. Instead, one of his older brothers came out from the back with a smile. It was nothing compared to Peeta's.

"What can I help you with, Katniss?"

Peeta was almost an exact copy of his older brothers but still there was something about him that made him special. That made him Peeta. Maybe his intense kind blue eyes or it could be his lovingly smile. The way he cared about everyone around him…

"Katniss?"

"I think your father will like this," I held up my game bag as I came back to with the mention of my name. "Two squirrels today. Oh, and could I get some cinnamon rolls with me?"

Wheat chuckled and took the meat I had offered. I stood quietly at the register as he went to the back.

The bakery looked better after Peeta invested some of his money in it, but he dreamed of so much more. He deserved so much more. And I had to agree- it would not hurt with a little renovation. It felt welcoming though and that was good.

"Peeta isn't here today, Katniss. We haven't really seen him around much lately. He has been doing his baking then he disappears." Wheat came out again, with my order in his hand. "You don't happen to know where he is, do you?"

I shook my head. Peeta gone? He loved to bake. It was the love of his life, except for me perhaps. He also had his painting and sketching of course. His paintings from the Games. His paintings of me. Then it hit me.

"I think I just might. But I am going to let him be alone so I won't spill it to you. Thanks for the rolls! Tell your father there's more where it came from!" I grabbed the bag and yelled over my shoulder as I walked. I had a feeling Peeta was out today. Out in the meadow.

Mother and Prim was seated in front of the television when I got home. It was never anything interesting on the squared box so I never really watched; unless of course there were some messages from the President or before when I used to watch the Games.

After actually experiencing how the tributes had it in the arena, I don't think I would ever be able to watch it again. Maybe if President Snow and his team were the tributes.

I was about to ask why my family was even bothered but his voice stopped me. "And now to the information about the Quarter Quell."

"What will they do? It's still a couple of months away." Prim asked the question for me and I didn't hesitate to take a seat next to her. We both turned to our mother who looked distant and solemn. As if she was remembering something.

"It must be the reading of the card."

My throat tightened at the sight of President Snow entering the stage. Even though he was far away from me, I felt like I could smell the sickening smell from his mouth; blood mixed with roses. His snake-like eyes piercing straight through me. Drilling into my soul.

The sight of him was still repulsing. Made me remember the forced marriage with Peeta. The Games. The reaping. He was pure evil right through his hollow soul. That man was not worthy of living considering what he had caused innocent families. A boy dressed in a white suit followed him, carrying a wooden box.

"On the twenty-fifth anniversary, as a reminder to the rebels that their children were dying because of their choice to initiate violence, every district was made to hold an election and vote on the tributes who would represent it." The President continued with a strange look on his face. A look of pure excitement as the words brought back different memories.

President Snow was surely a disgusting human being and right there and then, I wished so deeply that he would die a slow and painful death.

He deserved to be tortured for everything he had caused families all over Panem. What he did to Haymitch. What he did to the famous Finnick Odair. What he did to me. Because of what he did to Peeta.

I found myself wondering how that must have felt. To decide which child who had to go into the arena. To choose which child who had to kill or be killed. It would be so much worse to be selected by your neighbors than getting drawn from the reaping bowl.

"On the fiftieth anniversary as a reminder that two rebels died for each Capitol citizen, every district was required to send twice as many tributes."

I thought about how it was to have to face forty-seven tributes instead of twenty-three. The odds were worse, less hope and more dead teenagers. That was the year Haymitch won…

"I had a friend who went that year," my mother suddenly spoke. "Maysilee Donner. I got her songbird from her parents afterwards. A canary."

Prim and I exchanged a look because it was the first time we had ever heard about Maysilee Donner. I had never really thought of my mother having a life before my dad. She had grown up in the Merchant part of the district. _Where Peeta also grew up_, I hear a small voice in my head say.

My own mother had always sort of been a mystery to me. I had never fully figured her out. When my father was alive, he and my mother would show all kind of care for each other. Prim would let out childish giggles at them kissing while I would just sit quietly in the corner.

"And now we honour our third Quarter Quell." President Snow continued and the boy in white stepped forward, holding up the box as he opened the lid. Snow picked up the envelope marked with 75 and pulled out a square paper.

"On the seventy-fifth anniversary, as a reminder to the rebels that even the strongest among them cannot overcome the power of the Capitol, the male and female tributes will be reaped from their existing pool of victors."

My mother gave off a slight shriek while Prim buried her head in her small hands. I sat frozen, baffled. Then realization washed over me like a tidalwave. District Twelve only had three victors to choose from. Two males and one female. _I was going back to the arena._

Without hesitation and explanations, I stood up and was out the door like lightening. I was not aware of where my feet were taking me until I stood face to face with Haymitch.

He was of course standing with a bottle in his hand but today, I could care less. No words were spoken as he opened the door and let me inside from the cold. We found ourselves in his kitchen, facing each other at the kitchen table.

We looked at each other for quite a while. I had no idea why I was there, why I was seeking comfort from Haymitch but my brain apparently did. Before I could comprehend it, the words blurted out of my mouth.

"We need to save him."

He nodded, still not meeting my gaze. "You owe him that. He said you only wanted to keep me alive the last time but this time I need you to save him. He'll just volunteer if you get reaped but then you have to promise you will try," I was almost yelling at this point, desperate to get it into his thick head.

There was no way I would let Peeta go into that arena again, if I had no assurance that he could come back alive. I needed him to live. He could not die.

"Do you understand me, Haymitch?" His eyes finally flickered to me at the mentioning of his name.

"You have to do everything in your power to help him stay alive. Get sponsors, send us medicine if he gets hurt. We can't let him die this year. I owe him that much."

"Sweetheart, you owe him so much more," The mock in his voice was so evident that it took a lot of strength not to hit him. I needed him to stay healthy too so he could keep Peeta alive.

"Give me that!" I reached out for the bottle in his hand.

He looked at me as I chugged the liquid down. At first it burnt in my throat and threatened to come up again. I continued chugging the white liquor down and fought to keep it that way. But it helped. Made me forget. Made it all better. For as long as it could anyway.

Then I finally understood why Haymitch had turned to the alcohol. But then again; it made me mad. Because he did not need to be drunk every single day. Why did he even need it so often? What had he been through other than the Games I hadn't experienced as well?

"I don't know what to do, Haymitch. I need him to come back alive this time. You have to help him get over his love for me and find a woman he can make his wife. A woman who can give him children. You have to help him…" As those words left my mouth, I realized how hard it had actually been to say them.

"I'll do my best, sweetheart. You have to know though, that he will never fully forget about you. He has loved since he was five, goddamn it! He loves you more than his own life."

"I know…" I whispered with guilt obvious in my voice.

I just had to have hope. I had to hope that he one day would find a new one. One he would marry and have children with. A woman he would love who would love him back just as unconditionally. I just couldn't deny the fact that I didn't want him to love her as much as me. Didn't want him to forget.

I lounged out after another bottle to drink away my saddening thoughts but my hand came out empty. Haymitch sensed my desperation and got up from the table, opening a cabinet over the counter. He came back with two bottles; one for me and one for himself.

Without farther questions, I opened it and threw the bottle cap behind me on the floor. It wasn't like Haymitch would care anyway. There were plenty of other bottle caps on the floor. It burnt this time too as I swallowed it, but this time it was needed pain. I needed it.

"He's going to kill me," Haymitch muttered under his breath.

Peeta. I knew it was him he was talking about but I needed to forget about him now. Forget about the Quarter Quell. Forget about Prim's face when she sees me dying. Forget about Gale. Forget about everything. I couldn't let it get inside of my head.

"To hell with Peeta. To hell with Gale. To hell with love," I slurred on my words.

Haymitch just shook his head at the pathetic sight in front of him and I didn't blame him to be honest. I looked like a living hell most likely. Glazed eyes, unclear because of the alcohol running through my veins.

This was all President Snow's idea. It had to be him. He had made sure this was happening this year so I would have to go back. So he could get rid of me without anyone noticing. So it would look like an accident. But this was clearly not accidental; it was an action of purpose.

He had to make sure I was dead. He had to blow out the spark before it turned into a real fire.

**Thank you so much! It means a lot, everything. It really does. Any idea of what you think is going to happen next? Or ideas for what you want to happen? I'm open to pretty much anything and will judge no one. So to the question: What is your favorite quote from the first book? Answer me in a review ;D x**


	9. Reaping

**Thank you so much for reading! It means a lot. And please, if you have time could you leave me review with feedback? If it's just 'it was good' or a good two-three sentences, I don't care...I just need some criticism so I can try to make this story the best for you guys! **

**I don't own the Hunger Games. Suzanne Collins is the rightful owner of everything except my own story plot. **

**I'm gonna shut up now and let you read ;D **

I was woken up by a door slamming. The sound was far away but it was too loud. Way too loud. The slam echoed in my head, drumming in my ears, making me groan in annoyance.

I pressed my fingers to my temples, desperately trying to make the throbbing go away. Heavy steps came closer and closer until I heard something make a thump that was so much louder than what it should have been.

"Katniss?"

The all-too-familiar voice asked with surprise. Another groan escaped my lips and I let my face fall back down to the table. I noticed Haymitch stirring at the sound.

Peeta came closer and was now standing in front of us. I couldn't see him due to having my head cradled in my arms but I sensed him.

"Okay, enough! I can't believe you, Katniss! Are you going to turn into Haymitch now?"

His words sunk in. I could slowly but surely feel my anger growing. How could he accuse me of being like Haymitch? He knew I hated his drinking badly.

Yet, I had ran off to him and gotten drunk. I stood up slowly, gripping the edge of the table.

"I am not turning into a drunk! You have no idea, Peeta! You don't understand!" I yelled, waking up Haymitch along the way but I didn't care. Maybe he should hear this too.

"How do I not understand, Katniss? I was in the last Games too, you know. I've been through the same as you. And I'll be in this one. I don't know if you've realized it or not; but I'll risk my life for you. I won't let you go into this all over again alone. I'll be there and you can't stop it. So don't tell me I don't understand, Katniss! I have family also! They may not care about me as much as yours do, but it's still my family!"

Peeta was fuming. I had never really seen him this angry. I nodded, defeated. I couldn't stop him from going into the Games once again. I knew he would easily sacrifice himself for me. I knew that but I hated it.

"I know," I whispered. "I'm sorry. I just…I-I." Peeta had me wrapped up into his arms immediately he noticed my change of mood. I stood there quietly, sobbing into his chest.

He stayed quiet because he knew that words would not help me right now. Nothing really could. Because I knew it would happen anyway. I was going back to the arena. And I could not stop it.

"Can we at least be a little prepared this time?" Peeta asked when he had cleaned up the mess Haymitch and I made yesterday.

We had seated us selves on Haymitch's couch and had been silent ever since. Peeta was the first to speak up. I looked at him.

"I agree with the boy," Haymitch said as he came in to join us. "Prepare yourself this time. I know what these folks are capable of. Not gonna be a pretty sight. Start training as soon as you can."

And that is what we did. Every day Peeta, Haymitch and I would train our bodies and minds. My mother made us a diet to give us important proteins and to keep us healthy. Other days, we would concentrate on our talents.

I would practice with my bow and Peeta would practice with a knife. It wasn't his best talent but it would provide at least some protection if he met someone in the arena.

Still, I would say camouflage was his best move. The way he was able to hide from the Careers during the Games was unbelievable.

I was gaining a few pounds and felt stronger than I had before at the end of our training period. Tributes weren't allowed to exercise like this before the Games but no one really cared.

The Careers in One and Two always trained before the reaping and would even volunteer because of the honor. Usually, they won the Games too.

I was dreading the day, but I knew I could not ignore it. The moment Haymitch knocked on my door, I knew it was time. _The reaping_.

I didn't want to go because I was already aware of the result. Peeta and I would be the tributes once again. We would have to face the Capitol's Games together again.

Effie greeted us with the same speech as always but there was something about her whole appearance secretly telling that she did not want to be there.

She did not want to hold this reaping. Did she actually care for us? Although Effie was from the Captiol, didn't mean she didn't have feelings. It could be that she had gotten a little attached to us last time.

"Ladies first!" Her words brought me back.

They didn't have to draw the 'ladies' first because it was only me, but then again it was procedure. They had to go through the reaping as they did every year only this time- no one could volunteer for me. Not that I thought someone would, but even if it was, I could not be saved. I just had to accept that.

Effie said my name into the microphone but the usual enthusiasm in her voice had vanished. She then announced Haymitch's name but of course Peeta volunteered and took his place.

He was not going to let me get hurt this time. I knew he would do everything in his power without even knowing I would do the same for him.

He had no idea why I had stormed off to Haymitch that day. He had no idea what we had been talking about. And I intended to keep it that way. He didn't have to know about it. I could not worry him with yet another thing because I knew he would be focused on saving me.

The Peacekeepers took us with behind the doors of the Justice building but instead of leading us upstairs so we could say goodbye, they led us straight to the train.

Our mentor and our escort were already there as the doors closed and the train started moving. Moving toward the Capitol.

Moving to send me back into the arena. The arena that causes my nightmares every night. The awful nightmares that haunts me. Moving away from my district with my goodbyes still on my lips.

"We can write letters, Katniss. It will be better that way. Gives them something to hold on to, you know? A somewhat comfort," Peeta said from behind. I nodded.

I understood what he meant. Maybe it would be for the best. So I wouldn't break down in front of Prim and my mother. I couldn't show my weakness in front of them. I had to be strong. I had to fight to show them I could.

"I know. I just wish I could see them. Hug Prim a last time," I admitted.

"A last time?" Peeta's voice was quiet. "You're not thinking about what I think you are, Katniss? You're going back home. You should know that. It's like last time when you wanted to get the medicine for me at the feast." How could he read me like that? Was I like an open book to him?

I just shook my head, unable to speak about it. Quietly, I made my way passed him and into the chamber where Effie and Haymitch were already sitting. Peeta followed shortly after but did not meet my gaze.

We sat quietly, all of us, watching the recap reapings. Peeta found his notebook that he had been noting the training, the diet and everything else we had done the last weeks. He had also gotten information from Effie about the other tributes that he had written down.

Cecelia from 8. Chaff from 11, Haymitch's friend. The beautiful brother and sister from District 1. Brutus, a volunteer, from 2. The handsome bronze-haired Finnick from District 4 who won when he was only fourteen.

A hysterical woman was also called from 4 but she was quickly replaced by an eighty-year-old woman. Johanna Mason who is the only living female victor from District 7. Then there's me getting called. Then Haymitch and Peeta volunteers.

This was really happening. I was forced to go back into the Games once again. Forced to relive the bloodbath at the Cornucopia. Forced to relive the fair of bumping into a bloodthirsty tribute. Forced to kill. I had done it before. It was something I hoped I would never have to do in my life ever again.

When it finally came to nighttime, I couldn't bear to sleep. I lay tossing and turning in my bed, desperately in need of some sleep.

When I concluded that I wouldn't be able to get any sleep, I swung my feet over the edge of the bed before I could talk myself out of it.

I wandered down the hallway and softly knocked on Peeta's door. I couldn't see him in the dark but slipped into bed beside him. Without a word, his arms found me instinctively.

His breath was warm against my neck when he breathed but I didn't really care. Everything about him seemed so loving and kind no matter what. His breath was just proved that he was still alive. Proved that I wouldn't have to leave him just yet.

I cherished this because if I had to be honest with myself; I was not ready for the thought of being away from him.

Tomorrow we would be at the Training Centre again. Again, I was forced to face my fears. But this time I had a life mission; get Peeta home alive.

**Thank yooooou! I'm sorry it's so short but I couldn't come up with more and it was a good place to stop it. If you're reading this, it means you've read the whole thing (unless of course, you just skipped down here) but anyway; back to the question for this chapter. Which death was the worst for you and why? **


	10. Sick

**I'm so sorry I haven't updated in ages but I'm just not feeling this story anymore. This was kinda my escape from writing Justin Bieber fanfictions but now I'm into it again. I don't know where I want this story to go. I need your opinion guys! Do you want me to continue or should I just quit? I need at least 5 reviews telling me to continue or I will quit posting, I think. I'll post the chapters I've finished already (up to 16) before I quit though. I'm sorry, guys. **

**I do not own the Hunger Games and unfortunately I probably never will. I'm just lucky enough to play around with her amazing characters. **

My lips were slowly starting to get swollen from all the biting. I was standing in the elevator with Peeta because Haymitch told Effie we didn't need babysitters to come with us down.

It was the first day of training and Haymitch told us to befriend the people we thought we could trust. Haymitch proposed his friend Chaff from 11 but I knew he was a badly drinker. Maybe that was why they were so good friends in the first place. Then of course there were Seeder and Finnick.

By knowledge from last time, we were earlier than we should have been but this time it didn't really look like it mattered. It was only us, Brutus and Enobaria present when we had taken our places. And by ten o'clock only half of the tributes had showed up.

Atala, the woman running the training, started the session unfazed by the poor attendance. Peeta and I split up so we would get more out of the training. I headed over to the knot-tying station. People rarely visited him so he looked happy when I showed up. And he looked even more pleased when I showed him the traps I could do, taught by him and Gale.

I would've spent the rest of the day with him because he would actually teach me useful things but after about an hour and a half, someone slipped their hands around me from behind, and easily finished the knot I had been sitting with for ever.

It was Finnick, of course, who probably hadn't done anything but manipulating lengths of ropes into fancy nets. I watched him as he picked up a length and made a noose before he pretended to hang himself just for the show of it. I rolled my eyes and headed over to another station, wanting nothing to do with him at all.

Wiress and Beetee from District 3 were at the station I ended up, trying to start a fire. They both seemed kind of weird with how Wiress stopped mid-sentence and Beetee would finish for her. It was like they were connected somehow or programmed to talk like that.

Even though they probably weren't the sanest of the tributes this year, I grew into liking them through the short time. Especially when they started telling me about some sort of force field. How you could just make it out in the corner of the shield; as if the air was rippling in tiny visible waves.

I was about to explain my thought of why they needed the protection- my arrow going straight for them the last time- but I stopped mid-sentence. If they could hear us it would probably not be the best idea considering it was supposed to be confidential. The message would not take long at all before it reached the President and he would not like it. President Snow would probably come up with something in the arena to punish me even more. Even go as far as to hurting Peeta. Pressing my hand to my mouth, I ran away. I felt the looks in my back as I ran.

Peeta yelled out my name as I passed him at the weightlifting station with Chaff and Seeder but it was like he was miles away. I leaned over the toilet when I finally reached it and got rid of everything. It didn't seem like it would stop. Everything in my stomach came back up. My throat hurt so badly and my hair had stuck itself to my forehead because of the sweat my body was producing.

I wasn't ready for this. I wasn't ready to get thrown back into to the Games like that. I needed to be reassured I was safe; _but I wasn't_. I would never be safe as long as President Snow lived.

Peeta eventually found me. He stroked my hair away, while rubbing my back in soothing circles. He always knew what to say but this time he stayed quiet. He knew why this happened. At least he probably had it in the back of his mind. He knew how I was feeling.

_Scared. Tired. Hopeless. _The nerves were getting to me.

Haymitch told me to get some rest when Peeta found him and explained everything that had just happened. There was no way he would let me continue. I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep because Peeta wasn't there with me, but I didn't protest. The bed felt so much softer and cooler than it had done yesterday when Peeta told me to climb into it.

I woke up later when my stomach was having its own rebellion. I dove for the toilet again and felt the horrible fluids come back up. Flashes of memories came to mind. I had been dreaming. I was having a nightmare but I was so deep down that I hadn't been able to wake up before my body had no other option.

The spear going through Rue's stomach. Clove's knife digging into my own skin. Peeta lying in the cave almost dead from blood poisoning. Tresh pulverizing Clove's scull with the rock. Cato's screams for help. Glimmer's swollen body from the tracker-jacker venom. The mutts with the human eyes.

The gruesome pictures only made my stomach worse. I couldn't keep up with this. I had to get ready for the Games. I needed to be ready so I could protect Peeta. So I could bring him home alive.

Apparently Haymitch had thought the same thing because when he had knocked on my door later that day, he brought some pills from the hospital floor. 'They'll help you through dinner' he had said then he was gone again.

I didn't feel too bad when Effie knocked on my door to collect me for dinner. Everyone was waiting for me and looked genuinely worried. I smiled weakly at them and took my usual spot beside Peeta. I kept my gaze at my exclusive plate with golden printing. No one said anything but kept shooting me glances with concern under their lashes when they thought I didn't see.

"Just stop it! Please? I'm okay. I'm just scared," I admitted. Their looks of pity were making it much worse than it had been.

"I'm sorry." Peeta mumbled quietly.

A small smile found its way to my lips. He was still apologizing although he hadn't been the worst. And I knew it was only because he cared about me. I grabbed his hand under the table, as a silent thank you.

"If this continues then we have to get her to a doctor, Haymitch." Effie whispered quietly to him but I had the ears of a hunter. So I wasn't the only one knowing this would make it hard then, both Effie and Haymitch agreed.

The food finally came to the table and I dug in hungrily. I had pretty much thrown up every drop of content in my stomach so I was hungry. Small buns with butter, hot chocolate, chicken with mushroom sauce, it all looked so delicious. When the Avox placed the famous lamb stew in front of me and I just had to sniff in the scent.

I had admitted to Caesar Flickerman during our first interviews that the lamb stew was my favorite thing from Capitol. The thing that had impressed me the most so far. It looked so appealing but the moment the scent got stronger, my stomach wouldn't cooperate anymore.

"Excuse me." I was able to get out before I had to run off to the bathroom again. The door opened again shortly after me. Being tired and throwing up was getting annoying now and all I wanted was for it to stop. I didn't have much time before we were going back. I needed all the energy and strength I could get.

"It's going to be okay. You're all right, Katniss," Peeta whispered but the last part sounded like he was trying to convince himself. He was most likely worrying down to his bone right now. Scared of me being sick like this already before going into the arena.

"I know," I groaned softly. "I just hate to throw up. You shouldn't be here. I look so disgusting."

"You look beautiful, Katniss." Those words brought me back to the night on the Victory train and I could feel my cheeks heat. No one had ever really made me feel this way before. Peeta would be both my first and last. He was my first kiss and my first time. He would also be my last. No one would replace him but this thought somehow didn't bother me at all.

Before I knew it, I found myself kissing him. I must have tasted terrible but he didn't seem to mind and kissed me back, wrapping his arms around my waist. He pulled me closer and his hands found my lower back.

"Thank you Peeta. Can I sleep now?"

A chuckle rumbled from his throat and he nodded. "Come on."

He stroked my hair away and pulled me into his arms. He carried me to the bed and placed the covers over my body. I felt so hopeless. So tired both from being scared and because of the nightmares.

"I want Wiress and Beetee our team."

"You know, they're something of a joke to others. I think Johanna nicknamed them Nuts and Volts. I'm leaning towards Chaff and Seeder." Peeta looked down at me.

I rolled my eyes, frankly because what he said did not really surprise me at all. It was Johanna Mason we were talking about here. It sounded like her.

"But they're smart and if I have to have someone on my team, I want them. I can work with Seeder but not Chaff. Not yet, at least. And why would I listen to the girl oiling up her bare breasts to wrestle? "

"Are you jealous, Katniss?" Peeta cocked a blonde eyebrow but I could hear in the tone of his voice that he was joking.

"No!" I answered too quickly and cursed myself for even replying in the first place.

"Good, because you know I don't want anybody else. But I will let you rest up now and I'll tell Haymitch about your new friends. Just get some sleep and I'll see you in the morning."

Peeta rose from my bed and walked over to the door. I just had my eyes on his back as he walked. I wanted to tell him to stay so badly but I couldn't get the words out. I needed him to stay. He out of all people should understand that I wouldn't sleep without him. I was still looking at him when he reached the door and turned around again to face me.

"If you have any nightmares, my door is open." He said like he had just read me like an open book and then he was gone. Out of sight, out of mind. If it just had been that easy.

**Thank you so much for reading! I'm sorry if it was short, I just couldn't come up with anything more. Don't forget to answer my question at the top. I'm really grateful guys, I am! **


	11. Tomorrow

**Hey guys. So I asked for at least 5 reviews if you wanted me to continue this story and to my surprise- I actually got 13! It's the highest amount I've ever had on a chapter on a story before. Thank you so much! I really appreciate it. I have decided that I **_will _**continue this story only because I don't want to disappoint you guys. It's gonna take some more time between the updates now because I think I want the change up the already written chapters a little. **

**I do not own the Hunger Games and I never will. It all belongs to Suzanne Collins. I don't take any credit. **

"No, Peeta. I'm okay. Don't make a fuzz about it!" He looked at me for a long time before he sighed in defeat. There was no way I was staying in my room another day.

"Okay. I'm sorry, but we are going into the arena tomorrow, Katniss!" He just had to remind me of the thing I was currently dreading. I nodded, painfully aware of the reminder in his words.

"I know, but I'm feeling completely fine now. Can we just train today? We have to go to the private sessions tonight anyway and get our scores."

Haymitch was waiting for us at the table for breakfast and by the look on his face he didn't look too pleased. Probably because of my way of making friends. He suggested Chaff or Finnick, not someone like Beetee and Wiress. He had suggested someone who could actually help me with keeping Peeta alive.

"I'm fine, Haymitch. Don't you dare bother me about it today." I muttered as I took my seat.

I was tired of people asking me if I was okay. It bothered me. Of course it only meant they cared for me and I adored them for that but to me it also meant weakness. That they thought I wouldn't be able to take care of myself. Something I did perfectly fine. And to me; weakness wasn't welcome.

"Okay, okay," Haymitch chuckled dryly, surrendering. "But we gotta discuss your choice of teammates here, sweetheart." I knew it was coming all along but it still made me mad. Irritated me with how I couldn't choose anything for myself.

"It's either them or no one. I don't trust these people, Haymitch. Chaff may be your friend but he is just as drunk. I've gotten to know Beetee and Wiress and they are smart. They invent things. And you said it yourself; I'm not good at making friends."

Haymitch left it at that and left Peeta and me to eat our food. We decided to split up this time too with the training although I knew he was keeping a close eye on me in case something would happen. In case I would abruptly faint or if I had a small mental breakdown because of the gathering nerves. They were just getting worse.

Later, the same night we all sat together waiting for the scores. Cinna and Portia had joined us to see what their beloved tributes would get. No one was happy with the stunts we had performed. It was like we had some sort of conspiracy although we had barely talked to each other before going inside to the judges. Peeta and I both ended up with 12 but it didn't really matter. We were going back to the arena and there was nothing no one could do. A celebration would only make it harder.

The next morning, Venia woke me up early. Too early. The nightmares had kept me up this night also and I had most likely woken up at least three or four times during the nighttime. I wanted to sleep in but I knew today was the day. We were going back into the Games. This time I was no longer trying to survive, this time I was keeping Peeta alive.

"Girl on fire…We'll pray for you." Octavia's words made me realize that there were others thinking this would be the last time they would see me. Knowing I would never come back this time. Did people know about me saving Peeta? I couldn't afford the word to get to the other tributes. With our high scores, we were already having the odds against us.

My prep team couldn't seem to find the bottom line and just continued crying. I found myself comforting them and being strong, when I was the one really needing comfort. Maybe they did really get attached to their Victors. When Cinna finally came to finish me off, I immediately told him strictly not to cry.

Cinna promised me he wouldn't cry as he helped me into the unitard which was this year's tribute uniform; a blue one out of sheer material that zipped up the front.

Everything from then on happened so fast. Cinna braided my hair the way my mother had taught him and followed me over to the metal plate. He pinned my mockingjay pin to my suit and gave my hands a reassuring squeeze. "Remember, girl on fire," He smiled ever so faintly, "I'm still betting on you."

Just hen as the glass hovered over me, Peacekeepers burst into the room. They took a hold of Cinna's arms and brought them firmly behind his back. The glass made it impossible for me to help. I was standing with my hands banging on the glass, yelling out his name. He was helpless as they let their bare hands come in contact with his body. Hitting him to unconsciousness.

Then, the plate finally started moving, leaving me shocked from the scene that had just played out in front of me. I leaned against the glass but managed to make myself stand straight just as it was retreating. _Don't show them weakness, Katniss_, I thought.

The ground was too bright and kept undulating when I reached the surface. It was shiny. As I took a deep breath, I squinted down at my feet and realized that my metal plate was surrounded by blue waves. I raised my head and saw nothing but water spreading all around me on every corner.

_This was no place for a girl on fire_.

The seconds felt like they were much faster than last year. I couldn't see Peeta and came to the conclusion of him being on the other side of the Cornucopia. Before I knew it, I had dove into the water and was swimming for dear life. I was the first one making it to the shore and ran for the heap of necessary and unnecessary supplies around the Cornucopia. Unlike last year, the weapons were mostly gathered together and I instantly knew what I wanted. The golden bow.

Finnick smirked at me when I turned. I was ready to shoot him then and there. I didn't need any competition now. I had to find Peeta. Both of us were looking at each other and I was about to just take my chance and shoot until I saw the solid-gold bangle patterned with flames. Haymitch's bracelet. He had given it to Finnick as a massage- no more like an order- to trust Finnick.

"Good thing we're allies, huh? Wouldn't want to kill each other no, would we?" I nodded knowing that I had no other option than to trust him. I wasn't going to argue now when much more important stuff were at stake. Like saving Peeta. _Peeta!_ I had forgotten about him!

"Peeta!" I yelled, running around the golden horn. A relief washed over me when I spotted him still stranded on his metal plate. He was all right.

I was about to drop my weapons so I could get him but Finnick beat me too it. He had already dropped his trident and other weapons to the ground. "Let me get him," He insisted.

I didn't want to, but I trusted him probably even more than I should. He did a flawless dive into the clear water and it didn't take him long until he reached Peeta who went with him without resistant. If it was because of something Finnick had said or just the sight of me that made him go with, I didn't know.

In the corner of my eye- as a hunter you learn to quickly catch things- I noticed someone else in the water. It was Mags from Four. She was headed straight for me but nothing about her body language told me she was going to attack. Rather the opposite.

Finnick and Peeta finally made it to the shore and I helped Peeta to his feet. He wrapped his arm around me waist, squeezing a little as he inhaled deeply. "Hello again," He whispered and gave me a kiss. "We have allies."

When Mags was close enough, Finnick pulled her up like she weighed nothing more than a doll after getting our approvals. I didn't have anything against Mags and since her fishhooks were incredible, it would be a good thing to have her on the team. Especially with the arena in mind. We couldn't leave her there for certain death either because it was obvious that she wouldn't last long all by herself.

"Okay, we should get moving. We don't want to be here when they stop fighting," Peeta stated and pointed to the Career group that was already formed. I nodded, agreeing.

We headed straight for the green trees. Although, this was clearly not a forest. Nothing like in the woods back home or in the last arena. It was hot and humid. There were high trees, but none of them were very climbable. They were too slippery.

"It's a jungle," Finnick finished my thoughts. That was exactly what it was. I knew nothing about the animals, plants or berries in a jungle. Were there even animals here? I only was familiar with the woods. First the water and now this. Snow really wanted me dead, didn't he?

Peeta grabbed a hold of my hand as we walked behind Finnick and Mags. They were quietly talking them between so I decided not to bother them. Besides what would I talk to them about? My forced marriage with Peeta? Finnick's playboy reputation? None of those topics would do; at least not with cameras at every angle trying to get our every move. Taking our privacy from us.

"Peeta?"

He looked down at me with a smile. We had survived the usual bloodbath which probably gave him a small spark of hope. A hope of me going back home alive. Something I could not allow happening. "Yes?"

"I-I'm going to be sick again." And right as those words slipped from my mouth, I bent over in agony as the fluid came rushing up my throat.

Finnick and Mags heard the disgusting sounds and stopped, silently looking at me. Peeta held my hair back and rubbed my back softly as he whispered comforting words. And to think this was showed all over Panem now. Hopefully they would understand that Snow was doing this to me. The arena and every bloodthirsty Captiol citizen.

"I'm done for now. Thank you Peeta," I said and stood on my toes to kiss his cheek. I couldn't kiss his lips until I found some water to rinse my mouth. And to my luck, that was just what we did.

We found a tiny pond not too far away from where we started which was good enough for all of us. But with the heat in the air, the pond would probably be gone by next dawn. We all took turns on drinking. Mags had apparently several talents. She proved that when she braided us small bowls out of the grass. They made it a lot easier to drink.

"Maybe we should just camp here tonight. Mags has made us some straw beds to sleep on. We'll take turns on guarding?" Finnick looked at Peeta and me, waiting for a response to his suggestion.

"Yeah. I can take the first shift," I volunteered. I needed some time to think. Finnick nodded and went to lay beside Mags as the sun were already starting to set. With the Gamemakers controlling the weather this was completely normal.

Peeta came up behind me as I took a seat next to a tree. It would make it easier to sit and not fall asleep completely. We all needed the sleep we could get. "Goodnight Katniss." He kissed my lips before disappearing to his own bed.

It was beginning to get dark outside now and the tree crowns made it even darker. My stomach was still uneasy which made me wonder how I got this sick.

There was another time, when I was sick. I had to be home from school because I was throwing up every other minute. My mother was busy taking care of others so I was pretty much stuck in my bed with a bucket beside me.

Gale had stopped by after school to see how I was and bring me my homework. He laughed quietly as I threw up once again.

"_This is how mom was too when she was pregnant with Posy_." His words rung in my head…

**This chapter sucks ass! I'm sorry if it was short. I also apologize for any misspellings I can't remember if I have proof read it or not. Thank you so much guys! I answer every review, so don't hesitate to ask me something or send me a PM. I'll update soon guys, I promise. xo**


	12. Talking

**Hey guys! Thank you so much for believing in me and believing in this story, it means a lot. As I said before; it's gonna take some time between each update. I realized that I wanted to change some of the chapters before I posted them. And, I'm going on vacation this Friday (13****th****) for three weeks. I don't know if I'll have Internet, but if I do; I'll update as soon as I can. I'll have a lot of free time though, so I'll have many chapters ready when I get home. I'm sorry that it's short. **

**72 reviews? Oh my god, thank you so much guys! You have no idea how happy I am. Thank you!**

**I don't own The Hunger Games. It all belongs to Suzanne Collins, I'm just playing around with her amazing characters**.

I sat still, frozen, as the realization hit me. It couldn't be. Could it? It was just the Capitol food compared to the food from home that had upset my stomach. Or the nerves. Yeah, it was my nerves. My nerves played a big part in my uneasy stomach, I knew that for sure.

I was nervous about how this time would be. What if it was Peeta and I left this year too? One of us would have to kill each other. There wouldn't be any exceptions this year. There wouldn't be two victors and Peeta would never have the heart to kill me. Would a suicide dig him deeper into the trouble I had already caused him?

Finnick had taken over my shift about three or four hours afterwards and I fell quickly asleep. I couldn't sit up all night and think about how I would spear Peeta the pain of having to kill me. Peeta was the one waking me up, shaking me ever so lightly. When I only gave him a moan as an answer, it resulted in him kissing me wide awake.

"I wouldn't mind waking up to that every day." I smiled slightly and placed my hand on his cheek, bringing him down to me again. There wouldn't be long until this would be impossible.

A soft laugh met my statement as he helped me up. The smell of something getting burnt didn't exactly help my uneasy stomach, but I couldn't deny how much I wanted something to fill up my empty stomach again.

Finnick came walking through the bushes with some roots and berries and threw them down beside the tiny fire they had started. They placed the food, which I figured was fish, on small straw plates and handed out one to each.

As hungry as I was, I ended up sitting there, staring down at my food quietly. I tried my best not to inhale through my nose too often. Peeta, knowing my eating habits and knowing me, noticed how unusually silent I was.

"What's wrong? Don't you like the food?" I shook my head quietly. Fish was one of my favorites although I had only tasted it a few times and I ate pretty much everything given to me. When you grow up in 12, food is something you learn not to be picky about.

"I just don't want it," I lied. I did want it but my body didn't.

"Katniss, you have to eat. This could be the only time we'll get food in days." I knew he had a point but the food didn't look one bit appealing to me. The smell only made it ten times worse.

"You're still sick, aren't you?" Peeta sighed, realizing the obvious reason to I wasn't eating. I hated how he could read me so well. I nodded, sheepishly.

"Are you sick, dear?" Mags looked over at me from her already empty plate, hearing our conversation.I nodded once again as I was not too fond to talk about it. And I was scared that if I opened my mouth, I would get sick again.

"It's nothing Mags. I'm feeling better already!" I didn't want anyone to suspect anything even if it was true or not but I was pretty sure my face betrayed me. No one said anything else though which I was very grateful for.

We packed up our stuff shortly after. Because of the fire we would have to move now, in time to when someone managed to address where the smoke came from.

Peeta was always walking close by, making sure nothing was wrong with me.

"I gotta go. Won't be long." Finnick grinned at me, before disappearing into the bushes.

The movement caused me to roll my eyes which seemed to earn a laugh from Mags. Peeta joined her too but when he noticed my expression, he quickly stopped. He knew better. I was the one with a weapon here, not him.

"Don't you worry, dear. He has a girl at home. Annie Cresta." Mags smiled at me.

"Oh, the woman who won the 70th Hunger Games?" Peeta asked, remembering all the films with tributes we had watched. Mags nodded.

"She is his only love although it may not seem like it always."

"She watched her co-tribute get beheaded, didn't she?"

"Yes, unfortunately. It made her go mentally unstable but she feels safe with Finnick. She survived because she grew up in 4," Mags informed us.

Peeta nodded, taking all the information in just as Finnick decided he wanted to join us again.

This time, he walked with Peeta leaving me with Mags. When I first had the opportunity, I decided to grab it.

"Mags? That woman, Annie?" She looked up at me. "How do Finnick and Annie know each other?"

She smiled before explaining.

"Finnick was her mentor for the Games. I was too, helping him out with the two tributes. They got to know each other pretty well and Finnick was very happy when she won that year."

"That is why you volunteered! It was Annie that got reaped this time and you volunteered for her." It was all making sense now. Mags nodded with a smile.

"But what if…what if Finnick doesn't make it home?" It came as a whisper. This was going to make it so much harder for me to kill him now, knowing about Annie waiting for him.

Because I would have to kill him to complete my mission. I would have to get rid of Finnick so I could bring Peeta home alive.

"Let's not think about that, dear. It wouldn't be fair to them. Finnick has to keep his hope up."

I stopped in my tracks, letting the words sink into my brain before analyzing them carefully. I was slightly confused.

"_Them_? Do they have a child?"

Mags shook her head with a small smile. "They're expecting one."

Wonderful. Just wonderful. I couldn't kill Finnick now. I couldn't take him away from his girlfriend and unborn child. That wouldn't be fair to either of them.

"This must be hard for him," I continued whispering, looking over at Finnick who had his arm draped casually around Peeta's shoulders as if they were the best of friends.

"It is. Very difficult," Mags agreed.

Now, even how disgusting and less of a human it made me sound, I would just have to hope that Finnick died of natural causes or that another tribute killed him.

We continued walking for what felt like ages. We had to stop a few times when people had to go or when people needed a rest. My sickness was getting less frequent though which was probably good for us all now.

Peeta kept shooting me worried glances but I would turn my head away and ignore him. I couldn't deal with his caring right now. Not when I was thinking about ways to get him home alive.

"Katniss, are you tired?" Peeta finally asked, looking me closely.

"A little," I admitted. There was no point in trying to hide it from him when he could read me that well.

"Come here."

I did as I was told, walking into his outstretched arms. He hugged me against his chest and kissed the top of my head.

Suddenly, my legs disappeared from under me and I was cradled in his arms. Even though I felt like a child, I couldn't deny that it felt very good to be carried.

"Move on, you two lovebirds!" Finnick turned and shot us a humorous look.

Peeta tried his best, but he wasn't able to hide his smile from me. This was not a game to him. It was all real feelings. He did genuinely care about me.

We walked like that for a while. Me in Peeta's arms and Mags was resting on Finnick's back. Girls now officially looked weak.

Of course I would be able to walk by myself but it was nice being this close to Peeta. I could might as well admit that because I knew it was true.

I was put down when they found a spot they thought would do as our camp tonight. With some hard work, sweat and laughter we were able to build a manageable shelter, with some bamboo sticks and Mags braiding knowledge.

All of us were sitting on our straw mats around the center of it. Finnick were telling us about how he got drunk when he was 15 and woke up in his neighbor's bathtub. It got quiet after our laughter fit which got me to think again.

Peeta laced his fingers with mine, tracing his thumb at the back of my hand.

"I think I'm pregnant," I blurted out. When I realized what I had just said, I slapped my palm to my mouth in shock.


	13. Panick

**Hello, guys! Thank you for being so supportive, it really means a lot to me. I'm kind of stuck right now with this story, but I'll try my best. I promise! I just want to get it done and over with right now because I'm busy with my other fanfics but I **_**will**_** finish this one. I'll let you read now ;) **

I sat completely still, frozen, as the realization hit me. I could be pregnant. With Peeta's child. How could this even happen?

It was like all the people in Panem were holding their breaths, just like I was.

The idea of getting pregnant had completely vanished from my thoughts that night on the train. It didn't cross my mind _once_.

Now after remembering Gale's words, it seemed like the most logic and obvious explanation. Throwing up, feeling more tired than usual (because nightmares kept me awake if Peeta wasn't close). It all made sense.

But I couldn't be. I was terrified of the just the idea of having children. I had promised myself ages ago that I wouldn't get married and I would not have children. I couldn't see that happening with myself but now my nightmares were coming through.

It wasn't that I hated children, I did not. But the thought of my child constantly being in danger. Not being able to protect it from the Games. And with the starting rebellion. Constantly worrying about if they would take my child from me.

It all seemed so unreal to me but here it was happening in reality. Peeta's child was growing inside of me at this moment and there was nothing I could do about it. He would be devastated if I lost this baby, and he would _hate_ me if I lost it on purpose.

I looked over at him, sitting beside me, frozen just like I had been myself.

Peeta always wanted children, I knew that. He probably wanted them with me too. Now it was all happening but I wouldn't be going back. I would most likely die here with his unborn child.

"Peeta…" He didn't look at me. He did not even budge.

"Peeta, look at me." Slowly, he turned his head in my direction, his focus elsewhere.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't realize it until now…" I trailed off, not knowing what would sound wrong to say and what wouldn't.

"I-I thought you always wanted children…"

"Yes I do, but not like this! You do understand that I have to get you back alive now, right? I cannot let you die in here now, not that I would anyway. You know that, Katniss?"

He was right. There was no way he would let me get hurt in any way if he could prevent it. He would be with me every minute when he could, to make sure I was okay.

I nodded, taking in his words. How would I be able to get him back alive now?

Haymitch would still help me, wouldn't he? He promised. _Haymitch_. How did he react to this? Did he already know? Would he save me now? He had to keep his promise. He couldn't fail me now. Even though there was a life growing inside me. He couldn't.

How about my mother and Prim? They were probably sitting on the sofa in each other's arms, crying. They both knew I didn't want children, at least Prim did. Now I was pregnant but the child wouldn't get to live.

_Gale_. No, I could not afford to think of him right now. Not where he was, what he was thinking or who he was with. Nothing about him mattered now. Even though all people in Panem knew, this was between Peeta and me and no one else.

"The possibility was creeping inside my mind too. I think you could be right, girl on fire. This was exactly how Annie was a few months ago." Finnick broke the silence.

I looked at him, sitting there alone. He was clearly thinking about Annie, it wasn't difficult to see. This whole scenario with me now made him remember her and his unborn child again.

"What is he talking about?" Peeta whispered firmly into my ear when Finnick didn't elaborate, his hot breath tickling my earlobe.

"Annie is pregnant with Finnick's child. It's taking a torn on him so don't bother him too much."

Peeta nodded quickly, imagining himself in Finnick's spot. He wouldn't want that either.

A couple of hours later, we were eating again. This time some plants, roots and berries we were sure about being safe. We would need water and that soon. In this heat, water was our best friend. Peeta kept a close eye on me when I got the food in my lap.

I wasn't feeling uneasy anymore and was rather hungry actually. I immediately chugged it down earning a slight nod of approval from him. But I could tell he was pleased that I was eating.

When the dark was beginning to slowly form, I decided that Peeta was having the first hour with guarding with me. We needed to talk things out. I had to let him know how this was affecting everything. Even me. And not just in the physical way pregnancies usually did.

"We have to talk Peeta…I'm sorry for bringing you into this situation in the first place-"

"Katniss, you don't have to apologize. It wasn't all you, you know. But I can't let you…die here. Not now. This just gives me another reason to bring you home alive." He sounded so genuine. So kind and caring.

"I just…I didn't think this would happen. I'm not ready Peeta, whether I survive or not, I'm not ready!" He pulled me into his arms at that but said nothing.

I leaned into him, allowing him to wrap his arm around me. His skin was warm even through his suit but it felt comfortable. His touch was comfortable.

It was incredible how he could make me so calm when I was freaking out just a minute ago.

"It's going to be okay. Everything will be okay." He soothed.

It would not be okay. Nothing would be okay.

"It won't Peeta! Nothing will be okay! One of us is going to die before the other. Maybe one of us wins this but that means the other is dead. I just…I can't stand the thought of losing you." The words just slipped out of my mouth before I could stop them. Like a river of words.

I raised my hand to my face only to realize it was wet. I was crying. I didn't even acknowledge my eyes welling up in the heat of the moment. But I didn't care. I just let the tears come. I was strong, but some things just became too much at times.

"Don't think like that, please? Not now at least. I just can't afford thinking like this. You're truly the only thing keeping me going here. Your life and now our baby's," He said and placed a hand on my abdomen where our baby would be, "Is my motivation."

A baby. _Our baby_. A bit of Peeta and a bit of me. A baby was growing inside of me. Peeta's baby. The baby he had desperately wanted. The baby he would love genuinely and unconditionally.

This brought the cameras back into my mind for some odd reason. Whole Panem was most likely watching us now at this moment, wondering how the star-crossed lovers would handle the situation they had found themselves in.

I was obviously not taking it all too well. Peeta was, as usual, calm and reasonable- well as reasonable as he could be. He was always being so strong and good with the words. He always knew what to say. He cared about people. He was way too good for me…

"I love you, Peeta."

When the words came out, I did nothing to cover it up. Because when they sunk in, I realized it was true. I did really love him. Maybe not completely in the same way he loved me, but it was incredibly close.

It scared me though, the fact that I had grown so close to him. So attached. But he was the one keeping my nightmares away, keeping me safe. Loving me no matter what I did. Loving me, for me.

"You have no idea how I have been longing for you to say that."

**I'm sorry that it's so short, but I didn't know what else to write. And 92 reviews? Oh my god! Thank you so much. I'm so freaking happy right now. I just found out that I have 36, 706 views. Omfg, do you realize how happy I am? I know it's not a lot compared to other stories, but they're amazing. Plus, I'm from Norway so this is awesome for me, you know? Thank you! Don't forget to tell me your thoughts peeps! If you have any questions, write them too in the review and I'll respond to you as soon as I can, promise! Xoxo **


	14. Lucky?

**Hey guys! I'm so sorry that I haven't posted lately but I'm still on vacation. I'll update much more frequently when I get back home. I love you guys so much, omg! 107 reviews? That's insane for me. To be honest; I don't even think this story **_**deserves**_** so many reviews but I am not complaining. Thank you! **

We were on the move as quickly as we woke up the next day.

I could easily tell that Peeta was keeping a close eye on me which I didn't particularly like. I was completely capable of taking care of myself. He knew that.

But I also knew why he was doing it. He was going to sacrifice himself for me from the moment he knew we were going back to the arena, but when those certain words left my lips yesterday he was determined to keep me healthy so I could survive this, and bring our child into the world.

I wouldn't be able to though. First of all; I hated just the thought of bringing a child to this world. I was terrified. A child, especially not Peeta's, shouldn't have to grow up in this horrible world. What if I zoned out like my mother had?

_If _I was able to survive this a second time, that would mean that Peeta would be gone. Dead. Killed because of me. Because he wanted to protect his child that I didn't even love.

These thoughts were getting to me. As if they were intoxicating my brain so I couldn't function; a fog blocking my judgment as we trudged through the thick jungle.

It was like there was a shield between my thoughts, making it impossible for them to come through. I wasn't able to process my thoughts properly.

I had never imagined myself in this situation. Maybe I had imagined myself one time in the future without the Capitol, but then I was together with Gale. I didn't have any feelings towards Gale that was beyond friendship, but maybe I would have gotten married with him one time in the future.

All of those thoughts changed drastically when I was reaped for the last Hunger Games. I met Peeta and quickly understood that the things I did in the arena to survive, wasn't a game to him. It wasn't acting, but his true feelings instead.

I had also found myself in a spot where I almost needed him. I had fallen accustomed to Peeta being with me and comforting me at night, and that had scared me. I wouldn't admit that though to begin with, not to him nor myself. I just wasn't ready.

"Katniss, dear, are you coming?" I heard Mags' voice and was brought back to reality. When I was out in the unknown I was always ready to eliminate the dangers around me, but lately I seemed to get lost in my thoughts. I couldn't afford that. I had to make sure that Peeta was okay.

I nodded, "I'm coming, Mags. Just thinking."

I wasn't going to tell her what I was thinking about. I had enough with my own thoughts and opinions, I didn't need others. That would mess up my thoughts even more than before. If I told her, I would be almost obliged to tell Peeta and I couldn't do that.

My legs began moving without me really registering it. I followed after Finnick and Peeta, keeping an eye on Mags as I walked. She seemed like one of those that you had to keep an eye on. One of those unpredictable people.

Peeta and Finnick walked in front of us, still acting as if they had been best friends forever. Peeta laughed loudly at something Finnick as he draped his arm around Peeta's shoulder. I couldn't help but notice how clear and melodic Peeta's laughter was. He always managed to appear happy.

It seemed as if he always had a smile on his lips no matter how miserable he was inside. He never took his anger out on anyone nor did he really show his bad side. I could see why everyone liked him. He was truly an amazing human being. Too good for me.

"What is there that is keeping your mind busy, my dear?" Once again, Mags' voice brought from my thoughts. It must have been easy to see that I was distracted.

I shook my head, "Peeta." I sighed.

A small smile tugged on the corner of her lips. I didn't like to talk about my feelings, but it seemed unusually easy to do it with her. Prim was the one I talked to when I needed to talk, which wasn't often, and now maybe Peeta. I didn't even know Mags.

"He really loves you. I can tell by the way he looks at you and cares for you. You are a lucky woman, Katniss Everdeen." She said with a real smile this time.

"I guess I am." I whispered under my breath, giving her a fake smile. I was indeed lucky, but did I deserve it?

Finnick found a campsite for us down at the beach which happened to be ten metres away from the force field, saying we could use it to our advantage if any enemies decided to show up. That we could lead them into it and they would end up like Peeta had only a few hours ago.

We placed out the weaved mats we had brought with us and since Mags hadn't gotten sick from the nuts she had been munching on while walking, Peeta was gathering heaps and was roasting them by tossing them into the force field.

I walked away to hunt down water, after a lot of pleading from Peeta not to, but we needed it. We were starting to get dehydrated all of us. To my failure, I couldn't find any water but I managed to shoot some kind of animal we decided to call tree rat.

"You're going to be a good mom," Peeta said, placing a hand on my abdomen.

This movement triggered something in me and a tear slowly fell down my cheek.

We both could get killed easily and then our child would die before it could see its first day. I could die and hopefully Peeta would survive. Of course then, he wouldn't just be heartbroken because of me but also from his unborn child. Then there was the possibility where I could survive and give birth to our child, but then he would be gone.

"I can't. Not without you. I couldn't even handle throwing up. Peeta, you can't leave me. Promise me?"

He opened his mouth but when no sound came, he closed it shut. He couldn't. He couldn't promise.

"I promise you, Katniss. Even if I won't psychically be here, I'll be here," He placed a hand above my heart. "And our baby will always be a part of me. You're the strongest woman I know, Katniss, you can do this."

A pang of warm feelings filled my chest. I reached out and hooked my hand behind his neck, bringing him closer to me before connecting our lips.

When it was bedtime, I was the one to stand guard. Eventually I got pretty bored, and decided to walk along a little. I stopped though, when a sound caught my attention. Being a hunter, gave you almost superhuman senses with the years.

I was about pull my bow when I realized I had been stupid enough to leave it beside the tree. Just then someone walked up behind me and I turned around, almost immediately protecting my stomach.


	15. Shocked

**Hey! I just want to thank you all for the support and the really nice reviews. It means a lot to me, it really does. I mean.. I'm from Norway, I'm 15 and I have 115 reviews! I would have never thought that could happen, thank you! Sadly, I have to admit that I don't really have any more interest for this story anymore. I'm just busy with my other stories on another site. I will finish this, but it will most likely be a little rushed and there will only be a few more chapters! Anyway; thank you so much :) Tell me what you think! (I'm sorry for any mistakes, if you see any- tell me and I'll fix it) **

The action shocked me. Usually when I was endangered in the forest, I would only think about myself. Partly because I knew well that Gale was capable of taking care of himself. And now my first instinct was to protect my child.

"Well, if it isn't the girl on fire."

My eyes met with Johanna Mason's. In an instant I was ready to fight whatever she would throw at me but I knew I wouldn't stand a chance against her weapon. She looked me over, noticing my pathetic attempt at self-defense. She also knew I wouldn't stand a chance against her. She had trained when I was sick. She had a lot of energy from the food the Capitol had provided. She wasn't pregnant. _I_ was.

Before either one could act out the obvious hatred between us, somebody came to join. When they appeared from behind a tree I realized it was Beetee and Wiress. They wouldn't hurt me. Unless Johanna had brainwashed them of course. "Katniss!" Beetee smiled when he saw me.

Wiress followed closely behind but she looked even more nuts than she used to. She was fiddling with her fingers, mumbling something that sounded like tick tock to herself as she looked down to the ground. "I-I have to go back. It's Finnick's turn."

At the mention of his name, I could see the muscles in her face relax slightly. Her weapon was lowered and I understood I had gotten to her. "Finnick? Well then. Girl on fire, show us the way. I need to be around normal people."

I shouldn't have trusted her but still there was something about her telling me to. She was walking with Beetee and Wiress which should explain something. She was the one who had passed on their annoying nicknames.

Finnick was already awake when we came through the trees. "Jo!" A smile appeared on his face and before I knew it they were embracing each other. Finnick's yelling had awakened Peeta too who had jumped up from the mat, knife drawn. "Katniss, are you okay?!"

I laughed quietly and let his arms encircle me once he reached us. He buried his face in my hair, obviously still tired. Johanna chuckled at us. "Easy, Lover Boy. Did you think I'd kill her?" Peeta scoffed silently in my hair before looking back up. "No, I didn't and besides Finnick would have hopefully had stopped you before you even got close to her, but you could have hurt the baby."

Great, let her know too! But with all of Panem probably knowing it already and have for a long time, telling Johanna Mason would most likely make such a difference. "Well, that's gonna be a tough one…" She muttered under her breath before looking back over at Finnick. Their eyes were having a conversation of their own. I groaned, frustrated of being left out. I knew know how Peeta had felt about Haymitch and I keeping things from him.

"Good going, Peeta! I knew you had it in you somewhere!" Johanna hit him in the shoulder playfully. Instead of going back to sleep like we all should have, we sat up talking. Johanna and Beetee told us about how they had experienced raindrops of blood. Beetee started talking about Wiress' idea about the whole arena being a clock. She had a theory where the arena was divided like a clock and each time zone had its own dangers.

Blight, Johanna's counterpart, had walked into the force field during the bloodrain and ended up like Peeta had, if it wasn't for Finnick. He had saved Peeta and I owed him for that. That actually made me feel bad for her. Our talking got cut short by a clock tolling. Twelve loud chimes. "Mean anything, do you think?"

I didn't ask anyone in particular but really left it for anyone to answer. "I don't know." Finnick shrugged his shoulders. It could be for the twelve districts. We sat still, waiting for further instructions. Maybe an invitation to a feast from Claudius Templesmith but nothing happened. We were left to ponder to ourselves.

When the sun was beginning to rise I realized for real what kind of bloodrain they had been talking about. They were red from top to bottom, like they had been dipped in paint and waiting for it to dry. The image of Johanna's hair sticking to her forehead, Wiress' unnatural red lips and Beete's hand glued to him all because of the blood made me sick.

"Peeta!" I choked out as I grabbed his hand and pulled him with, clutching my stomach. We barely made it to the bushes a few feet away before I had to bend over. Peeta stayed by my side and rubbed my back, unfazed by the disgusting sounds I was making. He was too kind. "This is all your fault." I groaned and placed my head on his chest. "I'm sorry, sweetheart."

The nickname had come from Haymitch. I didn't know where he got it from because it certainly didn't suit me well but then I realized he could have done it just to annoy me even more. But the way Peeta said it, the way it sounded from his lips, was so much sweeter. Being out of love and tenderness and not to annoy the life out of someone.

"Katniss? Peeta? Get back over here…" Finnick kept his voice monotone, steady as he spoke. This made my brain concentrate and sharpened my senses. Something was up. I felt Peeta wrap his hand tightly around my own. His artificial leg still made noises he couldn't help. I knew it bothered him but he never complained. For him, a noisy leg was probably much better than dying as long as I was alive too.

Johanna and Finnick were looking at us, once were approached them. Beetee, Wiress and Mags were behind them. Poor Wiress, sitting there in the shadows of the trees. Mumbling to herself, fiddling with her thumbs. No one could understand her but Beetee and right now he looked pretty much preoccupied. Tiny, old Mags were sitting beside her, keeping her gaze everywhere else than in Peeta and I's direction. Avoiding looking at us.

That's when Peeta does it. It's just for a split second but it's enough to set them off. Peeta had made eye contact with the orange coated monkeys and they were exploding into a shrieking pack looking at us as prey. I had never seen animals move that fast. They slid down the vines, fangs bared, ready to attack us. I didn't know a lot about monkeys but I knew they weren't supposed to act like this. The size and the wild look in their ass all leaked it.

"Mutts!" Johanna spat, confirming my thought. Capitol mutated animals constructed to kill us. I knew every arrow would count. I brought down monkey after monkey with my bow that I had been smart enough to carry over my shoulder. I was targeting their throats, eyes and hearts. Finnick was at my side, spearing them as if they were fish, Johanna was whipping her weapon and Peeta was slashing away with his knife. I felt claws on my back and my legs before someone managed to get the attacker away. We were standing with our backs against each other now, killing the beasts coming at us. My breath quickened once I realized it was my last arrow. It took down a monkey but I had nothing more. But then I remembered Peeta's unused sheath of new ones. "Peeta, your arrows!" It took him a second to look at me and notice my desperation.

He hooked his arm under strap and that was when I spotted the monkey. Ready to attack him as the weak link. Because right know, he was indeed the weakest link in our pack. I had no arrows, his knife arm was busy with getting the arrows for me and I could hear Johanna and Finnick's weapon being swung around still. Defenseless and hopeless, I did the only thing I could. Leaping forward to knock him out of the way, protect him with my own body but I knew I wouldn't make it.

She did, though. Just as fast as the monkeys had exploded out from their no longer safe hiding places, old Mags had leaped to her feet and jumped in front of Peeta. She threw her bony arms up in the air and let the mutt sink its teeth into her chest. I wanted to scream but my throat was dry. Peeta dropped his sheath and stabbed the monkey in the back again and again until it let go. We were ready to take down more but they seemed to draw themselves back. disappearing into the trees as if something or _someone_ was calling them.

Peeta carefully scooped Mags into his arms and carried her down to the shore. Gently, he placed her down on the sand. I cut her jumpsuit open to reveal four puncture wounds. I knew she was dying as she was gasping for air. Peeta took her hand in his and she mumbled something I couldn't understand. "Katniss…" Peeta whispered and I leaned down to her face. Although she was dying, I had never heard her talk clearer. "Don't let it be wasted…g-get Finnick home." I knew it would be a empty promise but I said it anyway, "I will."

There were tears pressing at my eyes. "Don't let him go…He's too kind." She placed her hand to my stomach softly. "And take good care of it, love. Love it…" Then she drew her last breath as the tears were trickling down my cheeks. Her words were so few but with so much meaning.

It took me a while to realize she meant Peeta. Never let go of him. I had promised her two things I knew I wouldn't be able to keep. I wouldn't be able to bring Finnick home to his pregnant wife because that would ruin my own mission; to save Peeta. And I could not love the child. Maybe I could grow into loving it if we were in a different time but we weren't. This baby will never be born, I thought and placed my hands were Mags' had been a few minutes ago.

Finnick walked up behind us and placed a hand firmly on Peeta's shoulder. "Wiress is gone too. No one was there with her and one of them managed to slit her neck with its teeth." Just as the words left his mouth, the canon boomed twice, signalizing both of their deaths.

That night Finnick was sitting guard and I knew it was because of Mags. I slept beside Peeta who had dozed off immediately. He was snoring softly as I nestled myself into him for some warmth. He was always warm. Welcoming.

The next day Beetee told us about his plan to lure out Brutus and Enobaria. He had his wire which he wanted to tie around the lightening tree. Johanna and I had to run with a coil since we were the fastest and make sure it sank into the water. Neither of us had any better ideas and we went with it. I could see the doubt in Johanna's eyes but she said nothing. And if this would help us, help me with saving Peeta, I had nothing against the plan.

Beetee explained how it worked as Peeta drew his words in the sand with a stick so it would be easier for us to understand. Neither one of us knew if it would work or not. If it would make things worse or make it a whole lot easier but we all somehow seemed to trust Beetee with his work.

Just as Johanna and I was about to run through the jungle with the wire, Peeta snatched the coil from my hands. I was about to start and argument but by the look in his eyes there was no point. Nothing would make him change his mind now. Unless maybe I begged him or threatened him with my own life. "I don't care if I'm too slow, Katniss. Johanna is fast enough to make it and it will spear you."

I nodded, knowing he is speaking the truth. But how could I watch over him from a far distance? What if he didn't make it? This would be our last time. "I love you." I whispered as I leaned in and kissed his lips slowly but with love seeping through. I loved him. I loved Peeta Mellark. Our moment got ruined by Beetee telling them to run off fast if not it wouldn't be any time.

Finnick helped Beetee with some last minute measurements but all we could really do was wait. Wait to see what happened. Wait to see if they made it back alive. And that is what we do. Agonizing time passes. It shouldn't have taken this long. I hear someone yell but it takes some time to realize it is my name being called.

"Peeta!" I yelled, running into the foreign jungle to find him. I couldn't. There were no signs of him and I ended up at the force field. I am angry, tired and scared. Angry with the Capitol for making us all go through this. Tired of all the running, killing, tired of the Games. And I was scared. Scared that Peeta will leave me for good. Because being busy with trying to save him, I hadn't even thought about how it would be if he was the one to die.

Before I knew what I was doing, I felt my fingers stretch then tighten around the arrow I had whipped into my bow. In seconds it was flying toward the force field. Going straight into it and created a big light show for all of us. I was thrown back, my head slamming against a stone on the ground. I could barely make out anything that was happening but I could hear the hovercraft flying over me. I could hear another one not too far away but I'm too weak to move. Too weak to even keep my eyes open.

I let them close shut and the last words on my lips were his name. _Peeta_.


	16. Missing Her

**Hello again! Thank you so much for ****reading/alerting/favoriting/reviewing, it means a lot to me. From now on, the chapters will be in Peeta's POV. If you guys don't like it, I'll change it back but I have to try! It wasn't planned but I just suddenly felt like doing it that way :) I hope you like it! I'm sorry it took so long for me to update. I don't know how many more chapters there'll be, but I'm thinking only a few more. I don't know what to do with this story anymore... Don't forget to tell me what you think! xoxo **

I stared down at my shoes, watching as a thin layer of ash settled on the shoes. Everything in her house was just ashes. Burnt down to the ground and would fly away with just the smallest wind.

The chimney had collapsed in a charred heap but still gave off a point reference for the rest of the house. Their kitchen had been over there. And the bed she had shared with her sister used to be over there.

There was nothing almost remaining of District 12. The Capitol's firebombs blew the poor coal miners' houses in the Seam, the merchant part of the district, even the Justice Building to pieces.

Gale Hawthorne had been the brilliant brain behind the escape to the meadow. His plan had actually managed to save a lot of people but still a number smaller than the fallen ones.

Unfortunately, my family hadn't made it out in time. I missed them, I did. I missed my brothers messing around and teasing me. I missed my father's laugh as he served the costumers. I even missed my mother's yelling sometimes.

I had been taken to District 13 where the rest of the survivors from Twelve also had learned to live in the past month. It seemed to be a District 13 after The Dark Days after all. Just like Bonny and Twill had said.

I was currently living with Prim and her mother in an underground apartment. They had welcomed me with open arms when they found out that my family wasn't there with me. I was grateful.

"Peeta. Do you need me down there?" The voice of Gale Hawthorne sounded from my headset.

It was then I noticed I had buried my head in my arms as if I could bring away the terrifying thought if I did so. I knew there would be no point though; it would not bring her back. Gale responded into the earpiece which made me regain consciousness from my thoughts.

As much as I would want to be jealous of Gale and what he has with her, I just couldn't bring myself to it. He had done nothing wrong really and I couldn't come up with anything either. Yes, he had kissed her before, but I couldn't really blame him for doing it.

She was beautiful. Pure. Well maybe not so pure anymore and she was honest. Fierce. Bold. Everything about her made her a strong, independent woman. And, I loved her for that. I loved her for not being afraid to be herself.

Gale and Haymitch were waiting for impatiently when I got onboard on the hover craft again. I could tell they wanted me to at least say something but I did not have anything to say. The ashes had once been my home, and the thought of some of the ashes being my family, did not make it any better.

This had once been her home too. She did most likely not know about the incident either. What would _she_ say if she was here? How would _she_ react? I found myself wondering. My thoughts always seemed to find their way back to her although I was trying really hard not too. I didn't need any more difficulties.

Once we were back in 13, I followed Haymitch and Gale quietly. They had informed me that President Coin wanted to talk with me- although that was the last thing I wanted to do. The President and I had this silent feud going on between us, but neither of us did anything about it. I just wanted to save _her_ from the Captiol, but everytime I brought it up nobody would listen to a word.

_She_ always told me that I was good with my words, but at this moment I felt pretty useless. There wasn't anything I could do.

Alma Coin was standing at the head of the table when we entered the room. She looked professional with her hair pulled back tightly into a bun, black pants and a dark grey suit jacket. Her face expression was kept firm as we took our seats and there were no signs of good news in her face.

I sighed, sinking into my chair. I did not want to be there. I wanted to be back in the apartment with Prim and Buttercup. At least that kept my mind away from her and I was able to function properly.

"Katniss Everdeen, Enobaria and Johanna are still taken by the Capitol. There is still no sign after them, but we are trying our best. Our progress is going well and we have now taken control over Eleven, Ten and Eight."

I cringed, hearing her say her name. I just wanted her back here, safe in my arms. I wanted to be able to hear her breath and I wanted to make sure she was okay. There were going different rumors around in the districts about our baby, but I didn't want to listen to them.

"Can't your people work any faster though?" I asked, interrupting her from speaking farther. I knew she hated to be interrupted and I had learned that the bad way, but right then I could care less. I wanted her back.

The President sighed, "No, Peeta. My people can't work any faster. We are doing the best we can, I assure you that. Just do your job with Soldier Hawthorne and keep to the rules. We have enough with this."

I rolled my eyes and sat deep in thoughts for the rest of the meeting. I didn't bother to listen to what they were talking about because it wasn't any good news. I just followed Gale and Haymitch quietly back to the dorms once the meeting was finally done.

Prim met me with a smile as soon as I opened the door and I couldn't help but smile back. I could see why their parents had called her Primrose because she was truly a pretty girl. I was relieved that she didn't look much like her older sister because that would just make it unbearable to live with them.

As soon as I had taken a seat on the bed, she bombarded me with questions. She asked me how Twelve was, why I was there and what the President had said in the meeting.

I told her how awful it had been to see our home in ruins, but left out the part about all the dead bodies. She was too young and innocent to hear about that. I wasn't really allowed to tell anyone anything, but I trusted Prim as my own sister. Plus, she was smart and knew what she could and couldn't say. I also told her that we had no clue about her older sister.

Prim had been so excited when my hovercraft arrived 13. She was expecting to see me and her older sister, beaming with joy about the pregnancy. Instead, she had found me almost unconscious and her sister was nowhere to be seen. To see the tears roll down her cheeks when she realized what had happen almost broke my heart.

I was proud of her though. She had only taken even more responsibility after they were moved out to 13. She was working down at the hospital with her mother and was helping Hazelle with the kids whenever she had time. I knew she was keeping her eyes on Rory too, but I didn't mind. I wouldn't keep Prim from Rory if she loved him.

"I miss her, Peeta." Prim whispered softly, looking down at the photograph of her family. I knew well that it was hard for her. She was so young when her father passed away. Then she had to go through her mother's blackout and then she had to deal with the fact that her older sister was going away to participate in the Hunger Games.

"I miss Katniss too, Prim. I really do." I admitted, wrapping my arm around her petite body and pulling her into my chest as I tried my best to comfort her.


End file.
